Princess Lilue

Just Remember
by ~Ang~

When all the weight of the world,
seems to rest on your shoulders alone,

Just remember,
it is because you are strong.

When everyone turns to you,
when their lives are falling apart,

Just remember,
it is because you have cared.

When work pushes you,
until you are on overload,

Just remember,
it is because you are a success.

When family issues arise,
and it is difficult to cope,

Just remember,
it is because you are human.

When everything begins,
to be "just too much",

Just remember,
you can count on me,

to be there,
to remind you,

that you are strong,
caring and successful.

To remind you,
that you are loved.

When the weight of the world,
seems to rest on your shoulders alone,

Just remember, .
it doesn't... you can call on me.

There are days when you think that you can't go on, remember that out there.. there are people who loves you, who cares.. if only we take the time to let them in.. and over the weekend, this fact was proven to me..

It was totally unrelated of course.. my girlfriends just happened to invite me out for lunch at Pyramid just to catch up on things.. i was feeling a little overwhelmed & admittedly, a little let down by someone.. so i wasn't quite my usual self with the girls.. But i forgot.. that these girls are more than just friends to me.. they're my 'other' family.. we've been there for each other's ups & downs, being on the other side of the world from our own families.. and they know me & care for me, more than i realised.. Thanks babes!! Muaahhh!!

And what wonders some bit of loving and a fun outing can do to your spirits.. :D we should spread more love around us, people.. it'll do you good.. !

Oh no..! Bro was just telling me this morning that his company is planning to lay off quite a substantial number of people.. erk..!! surely not?? I mean, sure it was kinda expected with all those rumours going on, but even i wasn't expecting this kind of number... i doubt that he'd be affected, but then again, given the number they plan to layoff, almost no one is indispensible.. ish ish ish.. sabar je la bang ek..

So if anyone know of any positions out there for a senior exec with 7-8yrs experience in flight/operations management... or something along that line.. do tell me me, ya..

Managed to touchdown to KLIA just before 9am yesterday.. Alhamdullilah..!!
I'll start with the ending, just to get it out of my system..

I was supposed to be back on the 18th, reaching KLIA on the 19th.. just nice la.. took Monday off, to rest plus settle my car service etc.. aleh2.. on 18th morning, right when we were abt to leave for tawaf wida' (the goodbye tawaf/walking around the kaabah), our group leader called us in for a meeting. Apparently our seats have been cancelled...... huh? what? aaa..!! everyone was like stunned.. he explained that apparently the airline overbook their flight by abt 40 seats, and seeing that there's on 14 of us (under group booking), they've decide to cancel our ticket for 18th & provided seats for the locals instead.. for what, u might ask? coz these ppl want to come over to KL to watch the F1.. how is that possible, you want to know? when dealing with such people, sorry to say that such things are not rare occurance.. adeh.. how la?? our bag are already waiting in front of the hotel awaiting for us to complete our wida' & for the bus to pick us up la wey..
after lots more phone calls that morning, KL office says that the matter has been settled & that we should head to the airport.. we didnt quite buy it, but lets try anyway.. off we went for the tawaf wida', with chaos minds.. the group leader, who's also the owner of the tourgroup that we went with, his youngest daughter was admitted to hospital earlier that morning...his brother, who's with us needed to be admitted to the hospital due to his advance stage of diabetes (but came with us anyway as a last resort)... the estate manager has to pay his people's salary on monday... the doctor had a surgery scheduled on thursday.. me, you know la, the only reason my phone has not been ringing off the hook is coz i told them i wont have coverage over there (well, plus i can't charge my battery either).. - see how badly all of us had to go home??!!

Anyway, the flight was at 5, & we were still fighting with the airlines guys by 4.. so definitely no chance of that then.. by then, we were told to decide whether to return to Makkah or stay in Jeddah for the confirmation.. we're trying to get the next flight out which was the next evening, but also turned out to be fully booked.. in fact tried to get 4 seats, for the brother+wife & estatemanage+wife.. but was told to wait for the decision.. since we're already staying that the Jeddah hotel under the airline's expenses, even before knowing the turnout for the next day's flight.. and finally told that no one will fly earlier than the 21st, we finally decided to accept our fate.. there's no other flight in between that and luckily, if you can call that, the airline decided to confirm our ticket together with the second group (another 14's initery included staying in Makkah till the 21st). Otherwise, i'd shudder to think about it..

as my mum put it.. maybe god has decided that our group, mostly being professionals and all, had deserved this extra rest, all paid for, after we've completed our umrah & before we start back our hectic lifestyle.. in that case, what can we say, but alhamdullillah...

I'll be leaving for umrah the day after tomorrow..
Doakan i selamat pergi & selamat kembali.. insya allah..

Argghh.. next time remind me NOT to be bridesmaid no more.. :(

Eh, did I tell u that the bride was deaf? So’s the groom, but the groom can read lips & speak a little… but she’s really pretty tho & really2 sweet..

I didn’t go for the akad, although the auntie did invite me.. it was kinda an afterthought type of invitation, and she didn’t really invite my parents either..so.. malas ah.. anyway, apparently, the groom had to write down the lafaz akad, although the tok kadi insist that he also “say” it secara lisan.. in any way, as long as he understands it.. interesting huh.. ?

Anyway, abt those practice2 stuff.. aiyo.. red carpet only goes so far la.. come on la, how big is kelana jaya seafood pun, right?.. dunno why la they are so particular abt it.. the other pengapit wanted to speak/practice 1 last round before the actual one, but coz the bride’s parent tuh so busy asking me to change outfit la, change tudung la.. i didnt really want to wear the original outfit coz it's waay too big on me, but since they insist, whatever la.. the fitters pun so la the stuck up.... in fact, didnt even tell me that there's an extra tudung that I can wear.. last minute finally told me abt it & helped me wear it... cheh..

Anyway.. I don’t mind to help you people out & stuff.. but being a pengapit is meant to be in the background, isnt it? surely not meant to ‘steal the thunder’ from the pengantin right? ni dah la tak sponsor outfit pun nor tell me exactly what u want.. pastuh lagi mau ini, nak itu, tak nak camnie, aiyoo.. namanye menyusahkan org tau !

Flood.. ? yesterday afternoon, as i was abt to have lunch (at an usrah organised by my mum's friends).. he msgd me saying that my area is badly flooded.. huh?

when i left the house on friday, it was raining soo heavily, i was half drenched just trying to get into the taxi.. :( luckily i didnt came down with any fever, given that i was so chilled in the plane.. aiyoo.. wished i had followed mum's advice to always wear socks & proper shoes.. brrr...

anyway, spend sat morning shopping for that cream/gold themed outfit for the 'big' wedding this weekend.. ish.. so la difficult having to comform to specific outfit, i'm only gonna be the 'pengapit'.. it's not like u're getting it for me, you know! ;p but what the heck, a girl could always use another new outfit right?.. ahaks.. managed to find one, altho a little large, the workmanship is pretty good... it is the only size that i could find.. unless the bride's mum would approve any of my other close-enough-to-the-colour-that-she-wants baju kurungs.. ;p so will have to find time later today to get my outfits "approved"...

the rest of the day, of course was spend at Miss.Best.Friend's do.. she had the most gorgeous make-up ever.. hehe.. :D altho, i'd prefer her normal shade of lipstick.. hehe.. but what do i know huh?.. i don't remember meeting much of her extended family, but somehow they all seem to know who i am.. hehe.. how come suddenly so popular one eh? Mr.F intro'd me & my mum to his mum.. as if his mum would know who i am, eh? whatever la ek.. what's important is, the event went pretty smoothly, even tho visitors' were late for the do.. hehe...

back to when i got the msg abt the flood, tried asking bro.. but i guess, since he didnt know i came back to the Island, he just gave me a vague answer.. duh! altho, later i found out that his FIL is in hospital for his heart problem.. ;( already been a week & yet, didnt tell us abt it.. )anyway, since no one wanted to offer to pick me up (as usual la tuh..sob! sob!)... got into the cab.. the driver said to just brave it thru Bt3, i said go ahead la.. it's already almost 7 by then.. so lucky us, the road are already cleared by then, although not the houses.. Alhamdullilah, my place itself was not affected by the flood.. :)

hehe..what la have i've been rambling abt eh? now still so tired.. and i've developed a headache already.. :( i think now would be a good time for me to go face the aunti.. then i can go home & lie down.. :p

Aiyoo.. i think i've chosen myself the wrong career.. It's not joke trying to close every single problem in the whole world... well, in my world anyway.. in 1 day.. (well, even tho you have the whole month to do work..somehow or rather.. the bulk of it always seems to come on the last day of the month.. and usually after lunch.. :o )

anyway.. on more cheerful thoughts.. i need to get to the end of this meeting asap & rush home.. my cab's coming at 15 to 7.. (which btw, they've been over efficient & came this morning instead.. heheh..) & i'll be flying to the Island for the big DO over at Miss.Best.Friend.. can't wait.. ! :D Also, will need to start packing for my big trip next month.. so will be hauling back those stuff back to KL with me for the final packing.. hmm, speaking of that, i so need to get some new shoes for the trip.. can't be wearing my pink beach slippers over to where i'm going.. pangkor bolehla..

allright.. meeting's over.. (yes, i am being naughty & trying to type this during my call..hehe).. so now i can leave.. i hope..

have a good weekend y'all... !

There's so many things that i've thought of writing down.. but somehow when i do have the chance to do so, nothing comes to mind.. ;p anyway, when it comes to me, then i'll write it.. hehe..

I've yet to confirm what i'll be wearing next weekend.. a friend of my mum's requested that i be her daughter's bridesmade.. i guess so.. anyway, the thing is all my weekends are full booked, for now anyway..hehe.. so havent had much chance to really talk to the auntie abt what she wants me to do.. just had my teambuilding thingy last weekend at Bukit Tinggi.. which after 2 days of "main air", i'm lucky i havent came down with a fever.. (the head did feel a little hot tho.. ). Well, i sure do not want to get sick now of all times.. i've got Miss.Best.Friend's do this weekend.. and that wedding thingy next weekend.. and then i'm off for a hols for 2 weeks.. yeay.. can't wait!

however, with all these plans laid out, that means i'll be missing 2 of my friends' wedding.. :( and i so wanted to go that ex-schoolmate of mine.. i havent seen her since i left form 6.. waayyy wayy back then.. darn it.. takpe la..

erk.. i better be leaving soon.. i already have to be in office tommorow nite for a call.. and i still havent packed nor call a cab yet for friday.. and i so need to mop my floors, so darn dirty.. hmm, the perils of living on your own - no one to clean your mess for you! :(

i know..i know.. there's so much arguments whether we should or should not celebrate v-day.. for me, even though i've never actually celebrated the day before, i still think that the days simbolised something special.. doesnt have to be this specific day of course that you show your loved to those dearest to you, but i guess it does help provide some ideas, esp to those who dont usually show much affection to their love ones on other days.. hehe..

Love means to commit oneself without guarantee, to give oneself completely in the hope that our love will produce love in the loved person. Love is an act of faith, and whoever is of little faith is also of little love. ~ by Erich Fromm ~

You love simply because you cannot help it. ~ by Kim Anderson ~

ada ke patut... yesterday I went to this appreciation lunch at this Chinese restaurant in one of the hotels near The Office..and my colleagues didnt tell me that the soup had sharks fin?!? aiyoo... Well, it was supposed to be that black chicken broth with herbs or something.. so the sharks fin (skit je) was part of the herbs stuff.. btw fyi, I cannot take sharks fin – ada pantang.. (it's a looongg story..).. anyway, didnt expect the "chicken" soup to contain sharks fin..

also, guess what else was part of the herbs? Seahorse! Eek..! and it's 'whole' lak tuh (they said that it was the dried stuff).. ish ish.. luckily the soup was barely in my mouth when they told me abt the sharks fin, so terus tak jadi makan.. and that was before we found the seahorse thingy.. :p euww! happened to be that our table had only 1 chinese girl, as compared to the other table where most of them were chinese... so our table had a pretty hilarious lunch as everyone kept poking at that seahorse (yeah, the guys pulled it out of the soup & sort of tried to pushed it under that rotating or whatever u called that rotating thingy on top of the table )... & also kept checking whether the rest of the dishes had any other "interesting" ingredient.. (we do suspect that someone in the other table did eat the seahorse, but no one really wanted to ask abt it.. hehe).. luckily there's none, but given the slow service that we had, everyone (in my table that is..) pretty much gave up after the 3rd dish..heheh..

Anyway, just to end the story, most the table-members did finish up the soup in their bowl, altho no one wanted to take any second helpings.. hehe.. nor did anyone took 'anything' other than the soup ie the chicken/herbs/etc.. yours truly totally set the bowl aside, untouched.. heheh.. karang tak pasal ler if i had it.. aiyoo.. minta simpang byk2..

It doesn't interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.

It doesn't interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dreams, for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the center of your sorrow, if you have been opened by life's betrayals, or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain! I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine and your own, without moving to hide it or fade it or fix it. I want to know if you can be with JOY, mine or your own: if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, to be realistic, or to remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself: if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul. I want to know if you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy. I want to know if you can see beauty even when it is not pretty everyday, and if you can source your life from its presence. I want to know if you can live with failure, yours or mine, and still stand on the edge of a lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, "Yes" !

It doesn't interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done for the children.

It doesn't interest me who you are, or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back.

It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you from the inside when all else falls away. I want to know if you can be alone with yourself, and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.

Source: From Dreams of Desire, Published by Mountain Dreaming, Toronto, Ontario Canada
Author: Oriah Mountain Dreamer

I just heard that a (ex)neighbour of mine just gotten a divorce.. i'm not really that close to him, nor his sister who is my age, but we knew each other somewhat.. he got married in 2003 and his baby girl is abt my nephew's age, 1+. well, i dont exactly know what to say, except that.. kesian kat anak dia..

Why is it that marriage these days dont seem to last? How is it that our parents.. and their parents managed to live together, even still love each other, after 30-40 years..? What is so different between then and now? I still have yet crossed that line into marriage yet.. but hey, you hear stories like this & it freaks you out, you know..

Ntah le..

"I think people that have a brother or sister don't realize how lucky they are. Sure, they fight a lot, but to know that there's always somebody there, somebody that's family."

--Trey Parker and Matt
Stone, South Park, Cat Orgy, 1999

I taste like Bread. I am a staple in almost everyone's diet. Friends like me are a complement to any other friends I get on with almost everyone, remaining mostly in the background, but providing substance when it would otherwise be lacking. What Flavour Are You?

Don't you find it irritating that people always assume the worst about you.. ? For example, people always thinks that overseas student are such loose people, partying all nite and such.. as well as the other extreme, joining those cult-like religious groups and whatnots.. i mean, sure, there were people like that there.. and some of them, i might or might not know them personally. But doesnt mean that i have to be like that.. so don't la be so surprised that i'm not.. there was..are a lot of "normal" people, like you and me, who did study overseas, and stayed as they are.. not everyone ended up with a "cultural shock", you know.. altho i have to admit that i had a "cultural shock" coming back to Malaysia.. heheh.. will save that for another time..

****

Best betul Mdm.KS.. already her husband had the morning sickness instead of her.. due to being induced, she had a pretty speedy delivery, abt 1 hr je... by the time we went to visit her, she definitely did not look like she had just given birth a few hours earlier..hehe.. berkat doa husband & family kot.. alhamdullilah..

Congrats to Mdm.KS & hubby..!! She safely gave birth to a baby boy, at noon in Pantai.

Is it possible to fall for someone you've met for the first time? I personally dont believe in that.. i guess you can really really like someone.. but fall in love? agree to marry that person immediately? dunno la..

maybe i'm cynical.. maybe it's just coz i'm a complex person and it's difficult for me to get close to someone (and vice versa).. it's not easy for me you know, to go out with perfect strangers, whom other people deems to be suitable for me.. sure, i'm single and all, but at the same time, i'm not about to say yes to any tom, dick or harry that comes along, just for the sake of getting married :( if that was the case, i doubt i'd still be single now, no? marriage is a big thing.. you cannot expect a girl to make a decision after a few phone calls & 1 meeting?? at least not this girl anyway.. hehe

i dont want to be married becaused it is expected of me, because everyone else is already married & i'm not, because other people say that he's a decent enough of a guy.. i'm not saying he's not, coz i'm sure he is.. i'm just saying that i dont think he's the guy for me.. i do feel a little guilty abt not giving the guy a chance.. maybe i should have.. but even from the start i didnt feel right abt it.. maybe coz i've got someone else in mind.. maybe i'm just not ready.. maybe just coz i hate being rushed.. but i'm just trying to go with my gut feeling on this.. and given how serious this guy abt looking for a wife, i doubt i can go with the "why dont we just be friends for now" line.. (been thru that before, believe me.. it doesnt work..)

On the other hand, just coz i like someone, doesnt mean that it will work out.. i'm afraid to hope for too much, i guess.. or maybe i think too much with my head, instead of my heart.. ntah le.. kalau ada jodoh tuh ada la..



******
To Miss.Best.Friend..

Honey... i'm soooo happy for you.. Glad i was there when it happened.. Girl, you are so lucky.. or rather he is lucky to have you.. heheh.. Also thanks a lot, to both of you for making last weekend a great one.. hehe.. we'll see what's the outcome ek.. you better make sure i'm around when you finally set your date, k.. ahaks..

You gave me a wink,
And smiled your smile.
At that moment,
My heart just floated away.

I like you,
And I think you like me.
If you didn't,
Why would you want to get together?

In my eyes,
You are sweet.
In my eyes,
You are you.

Maybe it will work out,
Maybe it won't.
Only time will tell.
But I will always care for you.

By Chole(http://www.netpoets.com/poems/love/1254002.htm)

http://postsecret.blogspot.com/

Yeay.. tomorrow i'll be going to Pangkor with Miss.Best.Friend & geng.. even tho this is gonna be a pretty short trip, but a trip nonetheless.. hehe.. nampak sgt dah lama tak cuti.. Hopefully it's gonna be a good one, given the group of people who's going.. will tell all once i'm back..

*****
Was talking to Mdm.KS yesterday.. how sad is it that i only know abt friend's news & updates thru their blogs? very, isnt it? hehe.. otherwise, given how "often" i 'dont call, let alone meet up with them, blogs do help a lot.. hehe.. god, what have technology turned us into?? :o so have to try to make more effort this year to meet up with people.. One way is to try to meet up with Mdm.KS on her turf for a change, since i'm crashing over at Miss.Best.Friend's crib tonite.. it still have ceased to surprised me that somehow my friends ended up in the same place.. hehe.. good for me tho, sekali harung je... haha.. Anyway, this would probably be the last time i see Mdm.KS before the delivery.. so hopefully the next time, i'll be seeing you & the little one..

*****
On other news.. Parents dearest are seriously thinking of leaving The Island & move here.. have not made the final decisions just yet.. but then, we have been thinking about it for a while.. on the details, still on the sketchy side but i think we're on to something already.. will see how this goes.. but wont be in anytime soon though..


*****
Was reading abt this senator who got fined over sms divorce.. i think the judge made a pretty good comment.. judge Zainor Rashid Hassin said: ”When you marry someone, you are to go through all the processes like merisik, bertunang, bernikah and bersanding. Now, why can’t you divorce someone properly as well.” I mean, if you really want to end it, go la face the person & say it upfront (or at least thru someone u trust).. duh... besides why on earth la would u want to do this thru sms? some people can be so weird..


erk.. already late.. i better leave now before anyone catches me for more work stuff.. ciao..

You're a smart guy.. i'm sure you've figured out by now why we stay away from you... Why we turned a blind eye to whatever she does.. why we accept whatever excuse you guys cooked up for us, no matter how crappy it is..
you realised now how much it hurts her.. and sadly, you now realised that you cannot do anything abt it..

At least before you were far away, we can still kid ourselves that it didnt matter.. but now that you're just a stone throw away.. so near yet so far.. and it hurts even more.. think for yourselves what you need to do now..

Lilue took the free ColorQuiz.com personality test! "Intense, vital, and animated, taking a delight in ..." Click here to read the rest of the results.

Your Existing Situation
Imaginative and sensitive; seeking an outlet for these qualities--especially in the company of someone equally sensitive. Interest and enthusiasm are readily aroused by the unusual or the adventurous.
Yeah right.. more like a magnet to weirdos that is..

Your Stress Sources
Has an unsatisfied need to ally herself with others whose standards are as high as her own, and to stand out from the herd. This desire for preeminence isolates her and inhibits her readiness to give herself freely. While she wants to surrender and let herself go, she regards this as a weakness which must be resisted. This self-restraint, she feels, will lift her above the rank and file and ensure recognition as a unique and distinctive personality.

Your Restrained Characteristics
Willing to participate and to allow herself to become involved, but tries to fend off conflict and disturbance in order to reduce tension.
Remains emotionally unattached even when involved in a close relationship.
Circumstances are forcing her to compromise, to restrain her demands and hopes, and to forgo for the time being some of the things she wants.

Your Desired Objective
Intense, vital, and animated, taking a delight in action. Activity is directed towards success or conquest and there is a desire to live life to the fullest.

Your Actual Problem
Takes a delight in action and wants to be respected and esteemed for her personal accomplishments.

I was out with the adventurous two, mdm KS_girl & hubby last weekend.. aiyo.. mem, you're already ready for maternity leave end of this month, still wanna go berkelah ke? luckily the spot we chose doesnt allow her to get close to the river, so no worries there la.. and lucky for us, it only started raining on our way back.. considering that we started a bit later than planned due to the unexpected car trouble.. had to get my car towed to Glenmarie..

had been awhile since i've done such outdoorsy stuff.. the last one was during one of our office team building thingy, but given the company & the trekking we had to do to get to the place, not quite as exciting.. anyway, we had fun.. Ms.Comic Book brought her bro along.. we bbq'ed some food.. basically hang out.. pretty relaxing..

Looking at the adventurous two, i sometimes wondered.. how lucky they are to have found each other.. i mean, how do you make 2 people from different families, different locations, different ..etc, well, together.. ? i get the concept, but realising it is like..so difficult..

1. Do not walk behind me for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me for the path is narrow. In fact just fck off and leave me alone.

2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a flat tire.

3. The darkest hour is just before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's paper, that's the time to do it.

4. Sex is like air. It's not important unless you aren't getting any.

5. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

6. No one is listening until you fart.

7. Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else.

8. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

9. If you think nobody cares whether you're alive or dead, try missing a couple of mortgage payments.

10. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes.
That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

11. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

12. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

13. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

14. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

15. Some days you are the bug; some days you are the windshield.

16. Don't worry; it only seems kinky the first time.

17. Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

18. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.

19. A closed mouth gathers no foot.

20. Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side and a dark side,and it holds the universe together.

21. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.

22. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.

23. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

Someone will always be prettier.
They will always be smarter.
Their house will be bigger.
They will drive a better car.
Their children will do better in school.
Their husband will fix more things around the house.

So let it go, and love you and your circumstances.
Think about it.....
The prettiest woman in the world can have hell in her heart.
The most highly favored woman on your job may be unable to have children.
The richest woman you know -- she's got the car, the house, the clothes-- might be lonely.

So.......love you. Love who you are right now. Tell yourself "I am too blessed to be stressed." Be blessed ladies and pass this on to encourage another woman.

"To the world you might be one person, but to one person you just might be the world".


Send this to all of the wonderful women you know....I just did.


"LeArN Fr0m YeStErDaY, LivE FoR T0DaY, HoPe FoR T0m0rRoW"

Here i am, in Singapore, on a Saturday, at 5.30pm, - still working while almost everyone else around the world is on hols ? go figure..

Anyway, hopefully will be able to leave before 7pm.. and probably start off tomorrow a bit later.. (yes, i am also working tomorrow..sob!sob!).. that way i'd be able to check out Mandarin's pool.. hehe.. that is if i can wake up early enuff.. hehe.. depending on what's on tonite..

Anyway.. this year has been a pretty hectic & busy, work-wise..oh how time fly so fast... on personal-count, absolute failure in own personal life..haha.. although i'm still hopeful in the coming year..

Next year - well, already have a few major events coming up.. job rotation (if it ever happens..at this rate..), a friend's engagement (whenever u fix the date, girlfriend..just let me know.. hehe)... bro moving nearer to my place.. hmm.. dont know yet whether this will be for better or for worse..

Speaking abt my bro, his son was so sweet.. the other day when my parents & i was visiting him at the new place, he was being his cranky self due to his fever.. again.. but he cant keep his cool for that long.. haha.. wasnt long before he was happily playing with mum.. at one point, he got fascinated with my phone & the game i was playing.. (yelah, dah dia buat sombong kat kita in the 1st place tuh, kita gi la buat something else, like playing the game on the phone..hehe).. he ended up soo engrossed in the game, that he started leaning on me and practically lying on top of me.. alahai comel nye.. hehe.. and this is from this kid, who everytime we meet, sure put on airs & wont let go of his papa.. apa la.. so the drama queen one la this boy.. hehe.. this morning pun, had to like wave like a mad person to him before i got into my cab, before he would flash that winning smile of his .. mahal gile senyum nye tuh.. hehe..

okla.. already rambling nonsense dah nie.. so need to get out of here.. hehe.. mana pulak minah nie gie? tadi kata nak gie tengok shipment dah kuar belum je..

So HAPPY NEW YEAR to all!!

Happy Birthday to me..
Happy Birthday to me..
Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday..
Happy Birthday to me.....................

Ahaks.. finally, i'm .. 27! erk.. cam tak caya je.. hehe..

It's 2 more days from my birthday & i've already started my celebration over the weekend.. hehe..

a couple of my girlfriends came over for an early celebration, plus, one of them also just had her birthday on friday.. kira celebrate sekali la.. which of course gave me the perfect reason to avoid a particular event which i didnt really wanna go.. ahaks.. thank you soo much gals..!! with friends like you, i can take on the world.. hehe, or rather forget my woes.. i so need to make sure i make more time to meet up with my girlfriends as part of my new year resolution. Plus while both of them are around in KL & still unattached.. hehe..

something which also happened over the weekend made me realised, just how long it has been since i went out on dates..(not that i do go out that often before tho..& with not-so-many-guys either.. hehe).. heck, i've almost forgotten how it's like.. terrible huh?

This morning itself has brought on 2 early surprises for me.. one was a birthday msg from an old friend.. I havent heard from Mr.Italy for so long, since his marriage last year.. could it be that my theory has been proven to be correct? hehe..i have this theory (which like i said, is my own warped sense of theory on my lovelife) that, of all the guys that i've known (and i mean those who were "more than friends"), they'd be the one who'd leave.. yet, they always came back.. god knows la what exactly they expect from me by doing so, but somehow, they do.. which always puts me in an arkward position, given that they almost always do not include their other-halfs when doing so..

The other one was a call from someone regarding potential Mr.Right.. or so they tell me la.. ahaks.. well, i guess no harm in getting to know someone new.. but why la you guys always come in droves? it has happened before & look where it got me.. absolutely nowhere.. that's why you girls out there should not be like me...ahaks.. dah la tak reti go out with more than 1 guy at a time and plain tak reti go out with people.. i'm such a lost case.. hehe..

but otherwise you'll never hear the end of it.. typical la kan, here i am, almost 27, still single & not seeing anyone, which somehow violates all the rules of the social norm.. not that i mind that much, but the lack of non-couple friends & lack of couple-doom topics (which includes wedding stuff/baby/in-laws/other-half kinda stories) do get to you sometimes...

well, will see what else is in store for the rest of the week.. still have my dinner plans (which dont even know whether we can make it for this week) with Miss.Best.Friend.. wished that a certain someone would do something, however insignificant for the big day, but doubt that that person even knows abt it.. ;p

i know i've got to let go of this.. i suppose, feeling of 'anger'..
it's not like my anger is directed to anything or anyone in specific..
it's just in general..
it's just is..
Maybe it's just the sideeffect of my illness..
Maybe it's was from those incidents..
Maybe it's just... me.

dunno la..

ergh.. there are things that i wanted to purge out of my system, but currently - otak tengah berserabut... so will try to sort that one out.. somehow..

btw, my colleague, who like me, tgh kemaruk nak change our phone.. (hehe.. i know..i know.. not exactly a priority item to splurge on right now.. but i soo la want one.. read that again-want, not need..hehe) managed to got us a pretty good deal on a Sony W550 (i think that is the right model name..) if we pay cash... which is not bad, considering the market price is abt 200+ higher..

i'm actually eyeing the other model, W880 (ok..so i can't exactly remember the model's name..so sue me.. u can go find out yourself, it's that bright orange coloured one...hehe), but that is like soo out of my budget.. come on la.. to spend more than 1/2 of my hard-earned monthly pay on some credit card sized gadget? so very very tempting & i so so want to do so, but the practical side of me is screaming no way... susah jugak being practical nie ek.. haha..

anyway, i'm gonna sleep on it & decide tomorow..but if i can save 200 on that one, then i can buy my dad a new phone too, huh? but then i'd still have to fork out the money, which i didnt have to, in the first place..

hmm..decisions..decisions.. so hard to do.. :p

Talking abt my friend who's getting married this weekend..hmm where to start ya? hehe.. he's pretty much been 'somewhere around in my life', since the start of us, the ptuk12 scholars..hehe.. and i'll see him almost every hols during a-levels (since our school has the same hols every time.. *rolling eyes*...).. he used to send me crazy mails during a-levels (yes, those written & stamped types you know..)... he's forever cracking jokes, telling stories and so darn observant, it's like i can never keep any secrets from him.. haha..

One of the best birthday that i've had was during my trip to his uni, during my 2nd year i think.. me & a bunch of friends, all from various parts of uk, decided to spend christmas hols in scotland (since nearly all of his batch of malaysian uni-mates are close friends of mine anyway)..

as per usual, being it was winter time & fasting month.. we pretty much stayed up all nite & slept in all day.. hehe.. everyday, we'd have to pull & push each other out the door, to actually go & visit the sites & other towns around their uni.. in fact we almost forgotten to keep track of the days & ended having a tour of an almost empty town coz everyone else is out celebrating christmas.. hehe..

The girls threw me a surprise party for my birthday with cakes & lotsa food and such, which btw, i didn't expected half of them to remember.. hehe.. Anyway, he couldn't make it to the party coz he was on his way back from london.. but the truth was, he has already bought me a cake (a 2nd cake) & planned his trip to arrive in time to throw me a surprise party himself (he didnt know abt the girls' party) but got caught coz his train got delayed.. mind you, this is one guy that i know of, who'd always remember everyone's birthday & he has never forgotten to send me a card every year since the start of a-levels till i graduated.. so the next day, the guys invited us to hang out at their place & (he) threw me a(another) surprise party.., by the guys this time he says... it was the sweetest thing anyone ever done for me.. aww..

dont get me wrong tho.. even though i'd say that we've been pretty close, it's not like we share that much time together nor tell each other personal stuff and such.. but i do know that he's a very good friend whom i can rely on.. heck, i could even crashed over at his place, at a short notice at that, with my parents in tow when we wanted to go a tour of scotland.. haha..

dont la ask how come we never ended up together if we're such "good friends".. i guess it our friendship was never that way & not meant to be.. i'm happy for him tho & wish him all the best.. and hopefully we'll get to stay as friends..as it is, since i got back to malaysia, had barely managed to keep in touch with him, since he lack access to emails..dahla, never calls lak tuh when he is in malaysia..dah nak balik sana, baru cakap.. so, will see la how 'grand' the wedding will be on both side this weekend..

~~~~~~~~~
If your friend is the bride.. and she invited you to go to the bridegroom's kenduri.. is it appropriate to go? considering that you dont know the guy, nor anyone else (from his side) for that matter.. hmm.. good question really... but then again, for most of my friend's wedding, i didnt know anyone but for the said friend, which is a problem when that particular person happened to be in the middle of their "acara bersanding" or something.. even worst, when you go to such kenduri on your own.. so have to reconsider going to Miss.Dot's (or madam now) KL reception..

btw..wey, sapa nak ikut i gie kenduri budak2 tuh this weekend?? jomla!!

They say that you can't choose who you're related to; that's why God created friends..

I tried to stay away from you people, knowing just how much you dont like me.. but i dont know, i must have some kind of power or something over you people.. you just cant stay away can you? It's really getting irritating having to put up with your petty comments, acting like we're such bosom buddies when i know that you'd be talking behind my back anyway.. so kampung one, you know.. but i know that i can't get rid of you.. i know that i can't retaliate back because that would just be exactly what you want.. and i am trying to just let it slide, but i'm tired of being the target here..and at some point, i'm just going to blow coz i'm no angel either....so god just please provide me the strengh to have patience with these people.. let me be able to close my eyes & ears (& hopefully my heart) to whatever that they do/say, in order the preserve this very fragile thread of connection between us..

luckily i do have other people to fall back onto.. other people whom i've chose to associate myself with.. who knows me.. who (i hope) truly cares abt me..


~~~~~~

btw, bro already gotten his keys to the apartment, which is opposite my house..so no definite plans as yet when they'll be moving. but i guess should be soon.. apparently my cousin's fiancee also bought an apartment at the same place, but in a different block..i guess will be moving in after their wedding this x-mas..

another note: i've completed my 4000-pieces jigsaw puzzle.. yeay!! now all i have to do is figure out what to do with it? was hoping to be able to frame it up & hang it.. any ideas how? hehe..

What Kind of Friend Are You?

Iye ke? heheh..

ish.. tadi cam banyak je benda nak tulih but takde masa.. now dah ada depan nie, mind is totally blank la pulak.. ;p

tomorrow will be Miss.Dot's wedding reception.. however since it's gonna be in Kedah, decided that i'm not able to make it all the way..will have to make sure that i make it to her KL reception, which ntah la bila.. cheh, dah la i already missed her engagement ceremony arituh..

Apart from Miss.Best.Friend, she's one of my friend whom i've known the longest.. in fact, i knew her before Miss.Best.Friend.. both of us met on our 1st day of Primary 5 at school, waiting to be assigned to our new classes. Her parents are my parent's friends and they just got back from the states then. Over the years, we stayed pretty much in-touch, more so thru our parents rather than on our own (well, she's not much of a letter/mail-writer..). Had thought that i'd probably be the one to beat her down the aisle, but guess fate didnt planned it that way.. hehe..

Next week another friend is also getting married..

will cont. next time.. already getting a headache - they're telling me that i have to work on Monday (it's a public holiday to those who dont know..)..darn it!!! takde keje lain ke diorg nie???? citt!!

A friend of mine from uni, just moved to my neighbourhood last weekend.. So last nite, with another couple of friends, arranged to meet up with her & her husband (& son), at their newly opened shop nearby.. Have to say i'm surprised that they chosed my area since previously they were on the other side of town.. and since i have not seen her since the birth of her son, had quite a lot to catch up with..

As much as i love this friend of mine to bits, she so-la do not have any sense of direction.. no wonder her husband pun tak kasi dia bawa kete.. haha.. buat penat je going round & round the place looking for her house.. her house is just down my road!! Can almost see it from my house lagi.... ler... well, at least she should be able to walk over to my place, if the husband is not around to send her.. hehe..

Looking at the 2 couples with me last nite (whereby 3 of them were from my uni).. just realised something.. it's been 4 years since we've left uni & United Kingdom..(has it really been that long? ;p) we've changed so much & yet, not at all.. ! Mdm.Neighbour is still her blurry self, while Miss.HighFlyer busy gelakkan Mdm.Neighbour's blurness the whole time we were having dinner..plus Mr.Serious as usual, cant help being concern abt his friends.. haha..

well, looking back, each of us have come a long way from those carefree, video-marathon nights, girly night sessions (us 3 girls je la of course..ish), & god-know what else we got ourselves into during our uni-days, to this day tonite.. hehe.. how fast time flies huh? Mdm.Neighbour already has a 15-months-old son... Miss.HighFlyer already in a managerial post in a new job... me? ntah le.. these days i have to ask myself that question again

Loneliness and dependence
A warrior, when he suffers an injustice, usually tries to be alone - so as not to show his pain to others. It is good and bad behaviour at the same time. One thing is to let his heart heal its own wounds slowly. Another thing is to stay in deep meditation all day, fearful of appearing weak.

Inside each of us is an angel and a demon and their voices are very much alike. Because of that difficulty, the demon nurtures this solitary conversation, trying to show us how we are vulnerable. The angel needs someone’s mouth to express himself.

As quoted from -warriorofthelight.com-

On raya stuff...

well.. i suppose still not too late to be talking abt raya still..hehe.. even with the long hols i took, didnt really go out much due to mom being not well & all.. all coz the next door neighbour's extensive renovation lor.. all that drilling & hacking & pounding (since the last 3 mth) is taking it's toll on poor mum..

Anyway, did managed to have a small open house thingy for colleagues & closeby neighbours.. hehe.. i think most of my colleague was a little surprised by me, the family & house etc.. i suppose that's coz i've never really told them much abt me personally.. well, i for one am not the bragging type..haha.. nor do i care abt what other people think abt how i live my life..

On eye infection...

Aiyo.. just my luck, huh? was already on long mc leave the other month due to my thyroid.. then raya hols.. now managed to "catch" the eye infection from my toksu & her granddaughter when i went over to beraya.. not exactly my fault, is it? how do i know they were sick in the 1st place?.. the thing was, my soon-to-be boss insist that i come over to office for training.. while apparently the existing boss was having a fit coz of something, but when i asked what is it that's soo urgent that he's so upset abt - just coz i'm not there & i wont be able to login/check mail.. duh! i dont exactly work 24/7 u know! plus u should not always make it out that you will take care of the problem for these people you know.. it makes them think that i'd clean up whatever mess, whenever they've created any.. hello! so not gonna happen that way u know! cheh.. anyway, if anyone of u ends up with eye infection, not my problem u know, i already did warned all of you abt it..

My new babe...

Yeay.. my new car has arrived.. so i "only" bought myself a proton car.. yaloh apparently other people around me are getting - Vios la.. Honda City la.. whatnots.. whatever la kan..as much as i loved my wira aeroback, which have served me so much more than just mere car, had been with me thru the good & bad times.. i just had to let her go.. sob!...
Anyway my shiny new, Black, limited edition Gen2 arrived a couple of days ago..chewah, cam bagus je.. haha... havent had much chance of taking her on a spin just yet, what with my eye infection & such.. so cant wait.. heheh..
Plus Miss.Best.Friend also got herself the same car as mine a few days ago.. altho she didnt managed to get the black one, but hey orange is cool too.. okla, better stop gushing abt my car.. not that i know much abt them..haha.. bro is forever worrying abt how little i know abt cars.. okla, will have to start learn how.. this would probably require more TLC i suppose as compared to my wira before.. the key word, probably.. hehe..

There are days where you just can't.. i soo wanna go home now..

wa-hey... everyone loves me so, as unpredictable as i am.. but surely not to the extend that no one can put up with me?? adoii..!!


You're my No. 1


Were you born with a quirk or a plain simple soul? Have fun with this fun personality prediction guide.

IF you were born on the 1st, 10th, 19th, 28th of any month you are number 1.
If you were born on the 2nd, 11th, 20th, 29th of any month then you are number 2.
If you were born on the 3rd, 12th, 21st, 30th of any month then you are number 3.
If you were born on the 4th, 13th, 22nd, 31st of any month then you are Number 4.
If you were born on the 5th, 14th, 23rd of any month then you are number 5.
If you were born on the 6th, 15th, 24th of any month then you are number 6.
If you were born on the 7th, 16th, 25th of any month then you are number 7.
If you were born on the 8th, 17th, 26th of any month then you are number 8.
If you were born on the 9th, 18th, 27th of any month then you are number 9.

Number 1

You are smart, a straight talker, funny, stubborn, hardworking, honest, jealous on a competitive basis, kind hearted, temperamental, friendly, and popular. You always want to be on the top and most likely to be independent. You are most likely to fall in love at a young age, but will marry once you mature! You are likely to have problems with people who have opposite views and you are most likely to take revenge over your enemies in a long time basis. You are a spender, but you will have a good profession in the future. If you are guy you will be very popular. You can go anywhere from the local shop to the heart of the parliament because you are positive and talented in numerous areas. But in your life you will always have some people who will work hard to bring you & your name down. Because of your intelligence, some might hate you. You are a pioneer, independent & original your best match is 4,6,8 while a good match would be with 3,5,7

Number 2

No matter what, every one will love you because you are ruled by the Moon. You day dream a lot, you have a very low-self esteem, you need to have a back up for every move in your life, you are very unpredictable. You tend to change according to time and circumstances, selfish, have a very strong sense of musical and artistic talent and powerful verbal communication. You
can be sweet as an angel and can be ruthless when double-crossed. Some might say you have a sixth sense. You will become a poet, writer, an artist or a businessperson. You are not strong in love, so your relationship will be in disarray until you settle down. If you are a girl, you will be responsible for your family. If you are a man, you tend to get involve in fights & arguments in the family. You will sacrifice your life for your family. You are gentle, intuitive with a broad vision. You make a well-balanced person. Your best match is 2, 7,5, and 9 no other people can put up with you!!!

Number 3

You are hardhearted and selfish most of the time. You always tend to have lots of problems within your family in the early stages but you will be able to cope with everything. You seem to have your way in everything. And from birth you would always have to work hard to achieve anything you want. You always make a point to set examples on others, especially the younger ones. Generally you are not a cool person. It's not easy dealing with you. A tough player you are! But once you are comfortable with someone, it will be a lasting friendship. You always earn respect from others. Your Ilk seems to have lots of worries and problems but they won't be for long. You will have brilliant kids! You love money a bit too much so temptation will push you to
try endlessly. You will look after your family and help friends, so you will spend a life time just being generous and kind (except for men born on the 21st). You love your freedom, creative and ambitious, a person who brings beauty, hope & joy to this world!!! Your best match 6 and 9. Good match 1, 3, and 5

Number 4

You are very stubborn, very hard working but unlucky in important matters in life, very cool and helpful. You might repel people away from you, you may cause nuisance to others if you area man, as you gifted are with understanding other people's problems. If you are a girl, you excel in your studies and arts. If you are a guy you spend most of your time with girl friends and you tend to have too much fun with your mates & girls.Your friends will spend your time & money and get on with their life and you will be left empty handed. So be careful! You love to spend. Your positive side is that you are always around to help family and friends. You always fall in love with those younger than you. You often live with disappointments but you will take good care of your family. You need to be careful of people who will take advantage of your kind heart. And beware of your relationships too. You are radical, patient, persistent, and a hit old-fashioned; you live with foundation & order. Your best match 1, 8. Good match 5, 6, and 7

Number 5

You are very popular and you can get things done only by talking. Even to your enemies! You are business-minded and like to do things spontaneously. You will be famous if you get involved in any business. Your friends and families will always ask for your help, and you are the one actually with the money to help your friends.You will have more than one relationship, but when you settle down you tend to be selfish. You tend to go for other relationships - even if you are married at times because of your popularity. You tend to get along easily with anyone because the numbers is a middle number. You love freedom and changes. You learn your life through your personal experiences. Your best match 1, 2, Good match 6, 8.

Number 6

Ooopppss.. you were born to enjoy! You don't care about others. I mean you always wanted to have a lifetime of enjoyment. You will excel in either education or business management! You are talented, kind (but with only people who you think are nice), and popular. All good things come easily to you. Your mind and body is just made perfect for love. You are loveable by any number. But if you are a number 6 men, you will be involved in more than a few relationships until you get married. If you are a girl, most of you will get married/engaged early. You are a caring person towards your family and friends. You are a person of compassion, comfort & fairness, domestic responsibility, good judgment, and after all you can heal this world's wounds to make peace for everyone because you have the great power and caring talent to take the world of love one step further.. Your best match 1, 6, and 9. Good match 4, 5

Number 7

You are realistic, confident, happy, and talented in education, music, art, singing, and most importantly in acting. You also have a bad temper! You value your family status a lot; you will be in the top rank when you reach a certain age. If you are a guy you are popular with girls. Most of the number 7s face lots of problems with their married life. Only a few are happy. You have everything in your life but with worries throughout your lifetime. You need to get ready looking for a partner rather than waiting. If you don't, then you might end-up being single. You are born to contribute to everyone's joy. Your best match is 2. Good matches are 1,4

Number 8

You have a very strong personality and people will find it hard to understand you. You are more likely to suffer in your younger years. You might be also the one responsible to look out for your family. You often suffer all the way through life. You will learn life in a very practical way. You are the one who will fight for justice and may even die in the war too. You are normally very reserved with a handful of friends and most of the time, live life alone and always prepared to help others. However, once you settle down, (which is often late), then your had lucks will disappear. You will face unexpected problems such as encountering poisonous animals, and accidents. You are highly- disciplined, persistence, and courageous, and it is your strength that will take you to success. You are a great part of a family team. You are a fighter! Your Best match 1. 4, and 8. Good match 5

Number 9

You guys are the most incompatible people in the world. You are so strong, physically and mentally. You often have big-aims. You will work hard and will think it's still hard to get there, even if you already have gotten there! Normally you suffer in the early age from family problems and generally you will have to fight in life. You are respected by others. You were however very naughty in your childhood, and often got beaten up by your parents and had been involved in fights and you seemed to have suffered lots of injuries. But when you grow older you become calm and will fall into the quiet and dignified macho type. Love is not an easy matter for you. You are however good in engineering or banking jobs because people always trust you. Your family life is very good, but you will always worry over your children. Your finer qualities are that you are humanitarian, patient, very wise & compassionate. You are born to achieve targets and serve every one equally without any prejudice. You are a role model for everyone. Your best match 3, 5,6, and 9. Good match 2

• Giggling.
• A good conversation.
• Making new friends or spending time with old ones.

Friends are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.

How true...

Happy Birthday to Miss Best Friend! .. last nite was a blast.. should really do this more often.. :)

You Are Ariel!

Headstrong and fiesty. You have a mind of your own that's full of romantic dreams about the world around you. Exploring exotic places is your ultimate dream, and although you can be a little naive you'll realize that there is something to be gained from your family's wisdom.

Which Disney Princess Are You?

My absolute fav..!!

1. What is your full name now? Lilue
2. What are you wearing? Kebaya
3. What are you listening to right now? The company background music (they play it during start of work & after lunch hour. god knows why..hehe)
4. What was the last thing you ate? rice & nuggets for sahur
5. Do you wish on stars? yup, i think
6. If you were a crayon, what colour would you be? blue
7. How is the weather right now? Cool..
8. Last person you spoke to on the phone? My mum
9. Do you like the person who sent this to you? yup, nicest guy i know..
10. How old are you today? 26
11. Favourite drink? Mango
12. Favourite sport? Badminton, swimming, gymnastic (not performed by me tho..hehe)
13. Hair colour? brown
14. Siblings? none
15. Favourite food? mum's cooking
16. What was the last movie you watched? 50 first dates (on astro)..
17. Favourite day of the year? my birthday
18. What was your favourite toy as a child? this toy feet which can be wound up & walk..hehe..
19. Summer or winter? winter
20. Hugs or kisses? hugs
21. Chocolate or Vanilla? chocolate...definitely
22. Do you want your friends to mail you back? yes
23. Who is most likely to respond? Miss. Best Friend
24. Who is least likely to respond? dunno..
25. Living arrangements? me, myself & i.. altho right now, my helper's staying with me till end of fasting month..
26. When was the last time you cried? a while..
27. What is under your bed? extra comforters ..
28. Who is the friend you have had the longest? Miss. Best Friend
30. Favourite smell? freshly baked homebake cake, or breads..yum!
31. Favourite TV show? CSI, although now i'm hooked on One Tree Hill..
32. Happy In life? So-so..at least not unhappy right now..
33. What are you afraid of? losing the people i love..
34. Plain, buttered or salted popcorn? salted..
35. Favourite car? bmw mini cooper or that cute sporty 2-door audi..hehe.. or i can just settle for my new car, Proton Gen2..
36. Favourite Flower? daisies
37. Number of keys on your key ring? 3
38. How many years at your current job? 4
39. Favourite day of the week? Friday
40. What did you do on your last birthday? Birthday dinner with friends
41. How many countries have you lived in? 3
42. Do you make friends easily? not really
43. How many people will you be sending this to? a few close ones..

*Sigh*.. thank god, mummy dearest got that dating thingy out of her system for now.. hehe.. as i said before, i got nothing against it & i think it is a pretty good idea.. somehow, dont think it's right for me.. at least for now.. hehe..

the thing is.. for the last few month, in fact for almost a year, i have managed to became a recluse.. apart from work la of course.. the only people i ever see is my 2 ex-housemates & their hubby.. which is not that often either given each have their own life to live.. and not forgetting the best friend, every now & then..

I once had a discussion with a friend whether we're just being selfish when we do not make the effort to meet up with old/good friends.. maybe we are.. but then again, at these age, where we are getting bogged down by the increasing responsibilities - the increasing workload.. that car that you just had to use/wash/go somewhere with/etc.. the husband/child/girlfriend/boyfriend you have to spend time with.. the house which you have to cleanup/hate to leave..(seriously, when you own your own house, all you want to do is stay home & chill.. hehe..at least i think so..)

anyway.. recluse or not, i am not depressed nor am i being crazy for living on my own, regardless what some people think.. haha..so there!

Due to some article in the new last friday, somehow my mum got it in her head that i should try... the dating agencies..!!

OMG! Are you serious? My mother suggesting dating agency? adoii!! erm, so now i kinda dont exactly know how to answer that.. ;p well, i suppose there's no harm in trying one out.. except probably a rather big dent in my bank account..

although the problem with this is, not that i have anything against such program..it's just that knowing me.. i'd probably end up staring at my food..aje.. hahah.. for those ppl who knows me, not exactly news to them, right?..

hmm.. i'll have to think some more abt this.. maybe i wont, maybe i will.. how on earth la do i get myself into such predicament.. ? ;p itule, org suruh cari laki awal2 tak nak...

Aisey..

Pagi2 buta dah kena lecture ngan bos.. where am i with all the datelines? what's the reports? when is the meeting? and you even asked me with a straight face am i overloaded with work, with me being sick and all? Heck yeah! not that i'd be telling you that.. there goes my bonus otherwise..hehe...definitely a great pep talk you gave there, but erm.. i am doing what i can, you know..

plus the soon-to-be boss is already asking when am i gonna start my training..whoa people! one "crisis" at a time, wokeh..?

oklah.. enough complaining for today.. ;p

My definition of an expert in any field is a person who knows enough about what's really going on to be scared.
-P. J. Plauger

Yikes.. that was a little unverving coming out of the Doc's office this morning.. i went to collect my bloodtest results.. considering that i'm feeling fine and all, it was kinda of a shock that my TSH level is still within the dangerous zone.. :(

opps.. i should really start at the begining, right?..hehe.. basically abt a mth ago, i was hopitalised for severe vomitting and lethargy.. heck by then he was already the 4th doc to examine me & the results are still coming back as normal, ie no apparent sickness..!duh! so this 4th doc admitted me in, hooked me up to the drip.. after the 3rd day admission, he managed to discover that i've got thyroid.. finally.. ;p

anyway, due to the severe vomitting & lack of appetite, i was way way too weak for work, even after 1 1/2 week of mc.. tapi gagah kan la jugak since the bos just 'had' to call me up at hospital asking when i can work.. (now come to think abt it, shud have just ignore everyone & took more leave..hehe ). The doc said my body was not fully recovered & still unstabil.. okla, fine..i'd take it easy for a while.. ya, right!?! what with the Q3 end - issues, reports, wor .. all non stop.. so guessed it wasn;t so surprising that my TSH - that is the hormon generating thingy in the brain, to still be at <0.01 (normal level is 0.35-5.50)!.. but the good news is my thyroid level (T4) is already back to normal, for now.. so will be popping the pills for the next 18 months... :( and i so do not like medicines..

so any ideas how i can lower my stress level ? apart from actually quitting & some doner who'd give me unlimited of money to spend.. hehehe.. oh ya, reminded me to get a haircut too.. need to "reduce" my stress points (or so my mum tells me to..).. *sigh*

did u watch any of the "mencari cinta" episods ? my mum is kinda following it.. but i dont quite get it (but then again, i watch bits here, bits there.. mana nak paham the storyline..hehe).. but saw the ending of yesterday's show.. how one of the guy cried coz he felt so guilty for giving the name for "who cared the least abt the girl".. now this is soo la why such reality show will never work in malaysia.. we are not like those mat salleh who'd do whatever it takes to win, even to extend having conspiracy, secret pact etc.... also why at every elimination point for AF, everyone cries.. tak macam American Idol, where only the contestant cry.. heheh..

btw, i doubt the girl is such innocent, naive girl ie typical kampung girl type.. firstly, she definitely has that "city" look thing...hehe..plus since she's willing to go national in order to "mencari cinta".. in the sense that she knows what she's getting into & daring to "date" (well, i dont know what exactly they do in/on this show for the "dating"/get-to-know-each-other part..hehe) 10 strangers.. hehe.. but to say that she's bad ie not marriage-material just coz someone saw her going about town in tank tops, hmm, that's a little judgmental, isnt it? have you seen what people wear these days? i could barely find anything that fits,.. anything that's good anyway.. hehe..

anyway, i'm just ranting.. so not in the mood to work.. ;p luckily the boss is away..

After a while, you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul and you learn that love doesn't mean leaning and company doesn't mean security. And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts and presents aren't promises. And you begin to accept your defeats with your head up and your eyes open, with the grace of an adult, not the grief of a child. And you learn to build all your roads on today because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans. After a while you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much. So plan your own garden and decorate your own soul, instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers. And you learn that you really can endure... That you really are strong. And that you really do have worth.
-Veronica A. Shoffehall

Shock ! Horror ! My friend emailed me in a frantic yesterday, saying that she was given a 3-day notification of termination.. what??!! They've got to be kidding.. anyway, she is..was under a contract term, which should ended 1st August. However, this is linked to her performance/completion of CFP studies, where her final paper's results will only come out next month..

hallo.. it's one thing to terminate them (yes, there's abt 5-6 of them) if they had failed the exams, but another to chuck them before results are out & without proper notification.. kesian la kat orang.. and they had the nerve to say that if they passed the exams, they can "re-apply" for a job there under a yearly contract basis.. if results comes out in august but you sign the contract on 1st august.. that would mean a whole year under a contract (which most likely to say that there's no increment, no bonuses, no benefits), with no guarantee whatsoever, that you will become a permanent employee at the end of it.. i'd say that is just plain mean.. who is this employer you might ask? well.. i better not say it here, but it is a pretty well-known local company...

anyway.. hope she wont let this bring her down.. hang in there, girl! There's better opportunities out there.. somewhere.. i should tell that to myself too, but i guess i'll stay put a while longer & see what these people cook up for me.. hehe.. bosses still telling me to "shout at people" more often.. hmm.. ;p easy enough for most, i'm still working on how to do that ..haha..

anyway.. i better go home & get some rest.. darn this fever thing.. getting all the symptoms, yet no temperature can be so irritating sometimes.. gie kat doctor pun diorg gelakkan je.. ;( but not that i can take leave pun.. still got work to do & ntah sapa la pulak nak visit 2moro & i have to give presentation.. aiyoo..i'll be distributing my germs then instead of info..haha.. better go update my presentation at home la, luckily dont have to do from scratch..hehe...

woo.. didn't realised that i haven't written for so long.. Actually there's been a lot of half-way written stuff that i've kept in the draft.. haven't managed to find time to really jot down what i have thought abt.. hehe.. excuses2.. i know.. that would be 1 good reason to get myself one of those pda/palmtop thingys this coming megasale.. hmm.. must recite to self: do not spend my hard earned cash on stuff i do not need & will not use ! but soo tempted tho.. hehe..

Anyway what's new with me? Hmm.. loads .. and there's none.. heheh.. right now is midnight, i'm already half asleep listening to this presentation thing & this meeting wont end for another hour.. ;( so forgive my ramblings here..

After 2 days of drilling from the regional manager, spending the last 2 weeks on qtr end stuff, plus had to entertain an out-of-town cuz on a shopping spree around town last weekend, cathing up with all the latest flicks & slip-in some time to finish the new Harry Potter book last nite..fuh. i'm totally beat.. ;p

& mum just announced that she's coming over 2moro.. yikes.. by the time i get back after this, it'll be like 2am already & i've got an early meeting 2moro at 8.30..when do i clean up the house before they come over??! erk.. i should really go home at 3pm tomoro.. hehe.. i wish la..

hmm.. if mum is coming over, then i'd have to miss the uni-mates gathering tomorrow.. i did so look fwd to meet up with them considering we havent had any gathering for months, almost a year really.. well, sure there was the odd meetings with one or two of the gang, but which that itself had been a while back..

in fact the only people i meet these days are ex-housemate&hubby, and the best friend (who incidently just got back from japan so havent seen her for a couple of weeks already).. how sad huh? heheh.. did managed to get hold of her tonite to welcome her back & we got to talking abt how we dont get to meet new people no more.. i mean, i'm okay with the "being alone" part which most people find soo amazing.. hello! just coz i live alone doesnt mean i'm lonely okay.. there's major difference between being alone & being lonely. I would like to have a person to share it with, but i dont 'need' to be with someone to be able to be happy.. and i dont believe in being married to your job either..

anyway, i'll talk abt this topic some other time.. can barely think already now.. when la these ppl want to stop talking?? ;( i want my bed now .....

nite nite..

My trainee's leaving tomorrow.. :(
Where can i find a trainee - doing practical (diploma/degree/etc) from any poly/uitm/unversity.. ?

Requirement : -
- preferably finance studies,
- IT savvy will be a great advantage, esp in Excel
- hopefully can stay for 4 months (or more), but 3 mths min..
- mostly to help me perform more of the daily grind stuff & work thru the piles of reports that i get..

hmm.. if i could ask for at least a contract worker, i would.. but the boss didn't approve.. ;p so i'll have to make do with this..

Will have to remind that recruitment center girl to find me one.................. soon..

Cool template huh? hehe.. was just testing it out.. in between rushing it for all these audits around me :( and the boss kept telling me that i'm not doing enough.. adoii! Do it yourself why don't you.. ;p Sometimes, i wonder, where do we draw the line between you are not doing enough & you're doing too much?? hmm.. okay, so i complaint a little too much.. but then again, that's just my way of staying sane.. hehe..

Was watching Mr n Mrs Smiths last weekend with a girlfriend of mine.. erk, didn't realised that Saturday was the "couples galore" day.. just about every one in the cinema was a couple ;p ..... Well, i never had the chance of "going dating" on a satuday before, so never actually realised it.. well, with Brad Pitt on the screen, who cares..! heheh..

Aah.. i just came back from a massage session.. god, i didn't know that my body aches so.. hehe.. my shoulder's the worse.. and rightfully so.. i've been carrying "the world" on it.. ;p

isn't it correct that when a guy is interested, they'd make the effort? well, not including those players, of course.. and that if he's "not into you", you'd 'know' it? at what point do we conclude whether "he's not into you" or that it's too early in the relationship? if only there's somekind of manual as to what to do when such occasions arise.. ;p

All i'm asking for is:

Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow. Don't walk behind me, I may not lead. Walk beside me and be my friend.
- Albert Camus,
1913-1960, French Existential Writer

"Sometimes, the real and only victory is knowing when to walk away." -

"Take It From Me

Some people think i'm strong.. am i? yes, i managed the crawl thru the black hole i'd call 2004.. but have i really cross over it? i dunno.. sometimes when i thought i have, i'd get pulled back down.. by a memory.. by something someone says... by that fatefull call one late night..

I do so want to move forward... after all, i've completed my studies, the ex is already married, that family avoids me as much as they can, the house is pretty much settled... finding a husband? ha ha... :(
of course i dont hate men.. i just don't understand them.. at all.. but doesnt mean i hate them.. i'm trying, yet, it's soo difficult.. trust issues? yeah, i do have doubts, but your actions are not exactly helping either.. god, i'd wring your neck if i could or at least shout at you, but me being the good girl that i am.. i will just let you take your own sweet time to figure out what you want.. in the mean time, i'll just practice being an old maid & live my own life whether you are in it or not.. when you happen to remember that i still exist, then you can give me a call.. till then..

Yumm.. mum brought over some home-cooked crabs yesterday.. was up to my elbows (well, almost anyway..haha..).. I personally.. have no idea how to cook crabs.. hehe.. well, i'm not that good a cook, period.. definitely now since i've started working as compared to during my uni period.. it's surprising really how bad my cooking has been turning out lately.. ;p

I'm just waaayy too busy with this compliance thingy, i havent had a chance to play with my new toy.. hehe.. just bought myself a 4000-piece jigsaw puzzle the other day.. i'm dying to start, but... maybe i shud be thinking how to get it framed first before i even start.. yeah, i'm a puzzle-junkie.. not so much the crossword ones.. but more of the jigsaw type.. i can still remember the framed jigsaw puzzles over at my piano teacher's house.. she had quite a few & that's only the living room..

i've got a few completed ones, i sort of took it up a few month back.. i was getting too depressed for my own good, so i started out this hobby.. of course, i've love doing this since i was younger, but then i didnt have the means to buy them (plus it can be quite expansive too)..


p/s: oh my god.. yesterday was enquiring abt those new semi-d houses at the end of my street.. it's like RM800k!!shock! horror! phoar.. these ppl are truly making money, weh.. my house is nowhere near that amount of course but.. 800? you have got to be kidding me.. it's not like it's triple the size of my house.. ish ish ish.. i wonder what was the original price tho.. hmm..

Why is it that if the guy is not interested, it's my fault? Why can't it be his fault? getting tired of these games already..

"Don't be afraid. Don't be apologetic. Don't back down, don't back off and don't backtrack either. Better yet, don't dwell on the word 'don't'. There are, already, far too many rules in your life. You are being painfully constrained by laws that need not be followed or that do not even actually exist. It's time to permit yourself to trust your instincts. You feel what you feel. That's not something to be ashamed of. It's something you have a right to celebrate and act on"

Fuh.. what a weekend.. the wedding, thru all the chaos & setbacks, was lovely nonetheless.. not that they'd ever read this, but congrats anyway to the newlyweds.. Hmm.. i wouldnt know abt whether bridesmaids will be next in line for marriage or delay it, but this was the first time i became so.. "laku".. i'm speechless.. hahah.. if only i am this popular amongst the people i'm with..

and a few of them even recognised me from my brief encounter with the modelling world.. erk, even i never saw myself on tv.. haha, dont know how they could have recognised me, i barely looked like myself in the pics.. hmm, the good old days..

and it stops me from thinking that it could have been my wedding with that someone this weekend, instead he 'walked down the aisle' with someone else.. whoops, wasnt supposed to think abt that at all.. My mum told me this a few days ago after listening to a ceramah agama: As bad as things were, Allah has always replaced everything he took with something better, even if we dont see/understand it that way. All we need to do is to accept His tests with "redha". Remember Him always & recite the Quran when you are troubled. Things happened for a reason. He has & always will provide the best to us, when the time is right. Even if that means that i am meant to be alone, so be it.


I don't wanna be lonely no more
I don't wanna have to pay for this
I don't want to know the lover at my door
Is just another heartache on my list

I don't wanna be angry no more
You know I could never stand for this
So when you tell me that you love me know for sure
I don't want to be lonely anymore
~Lonely No More, Rob Thomas

Although i havent called her yet, but by now my housemate (we've move out of that house after the 1st housemate got married) is officially someone's wife..that's one lucky guy there.. her nikah was this morning.. wished that we could be there with her, but can't exactly run out of the office to go to her house, right? hehe.. anyway, will be going tomorrow & be her bridesmaid for Sunday..

with this coming weekend, he would have already be married by now & the bride's kenduri this weekend..

there's this little conflicting saying regarding pengapit or bridesmaid.. one says that if you're the bridesmaid, you're next in line to get married.. The other one says that being the bridesmaid means you'll stay single (or marry late in life).. I'm a little confuse which is which... but at this point, i so do not hear any wedding bells ringing for me anytime soon.. which right now, doesnt seem to make any difference to me really.. not that my mum would accept that tho (i'd get an earful if i ever make that remark to her..hehe)

Anyway, dont think there's any pantang or whatnots i should know abt being a bridesmate.. hehe.. so hope i'll know what to do.. & not break down in the middle of everything.. ;p insya allah.. this is her day, so let's concentrate on her, shall we?

God.. it's already 7.30pm & i've barely started with any of my work.. ;p The Boss kept topping up with items i need to complete for him that i'm at lost to which to start doing..

At least 1 good news so far today, the Big Boss (the one who came over to basically "shoot" us) caught hold of me for a "chit chat".. yeay, i'm not rotating to another job, at least till next year (well, that was the direction suggested by local management here) & i should be getting another raise in July.. i'm not too sure as yet to where i want to rotate to.. everyone's job seems such .. for lack of word, a bore.. hehe.. not that mine's that interesting either, it sucks too but at least it has it's own perks.. oh ya, btw he did tell me that he was shocked at the level of my salary & pushed for an immediate raise.. alhamdullilah! one thing i can say for him, he 'sees' things (which he has told me before.. ) and not just listen to the bosses around here.. okla.. okla.. i'll try & "make more noise" as everyone kept telling me to do.. at least someone is bound to listen..

aisey.. havent submitted my reply for my ACCA's graduation.. & pay for my tnb bills.. :( so need to stop getting into my "moody" self at home & actually get some things done...

"I have never regretted falling in love with anyone. I have lived and learned
from everyone I know, and loved. I would not change a thing."
Nancy Williams

I should not grudge him his wedding.. or the fact that he got engaged abt 3 months after we broke up while i was still struggling to stay sane .. he knew he hurt me & hopefully it will weigh on his conscience for a long time.. i know whatever he does should not affect me but the hurt still wont go away. I want to accept his apology because it would be too heavy on my heart otherwise.. but damn.. this is sooo difficult..

"Don't cry when the sun is gone, because the tears won't let you see the stars."
Violeta Parra

I went for a YE Advisor training last week.. a pretty good excuse to get off work & doing something fun (sort of) for a change..

anyway.. the end part of the training includes some character analysis based on this 16-character type definition thing, which incidently, i think i've tried out before.. anyway, this time there's someone to explain it to me.. i think i am an ISTP (introvert, sensing, thinker & perceiver).. which in plain english, it means that i'm thrive at solving problems, and solving it in anyway i can.. how it turns out(looks-wise) are not important.. and the only way i can relax is, in his word -> to go to sleep.. ;p hmm, i'm no MacGyver but i do supposed it's close enough to me..
ISTP
Inside I am continually reworking an issue. I am constantly open to new directions, always tweaking and bringing in new information. I solve a problem by looking at all the angles, probably whatever side I need to. There is an answer, and I just need to get to the best way to figure it out—to meet my objectives and give it to people how it is without annoying anyone.
To work with difficult situations I become very logical and very analytical, and I look to see where things fit. I always watch and if there’s a problem, I go back inside myself to see what may need to be done and how best to approach a situation. I like to find a technique.
The observational part of me is the ability to see when an opportunity exists and to actually act on it and make things a little bit better. I like to choose the timing for when it’s appropriate to say or do something. I spend a lot of time considering scenarios before I make decisions. I’ll usually go with a hunch, my intuition, what’s the most likely cause. I do my best problem solving in my head away from whatever it is. I step back outside of things, think for a while, and make adjustments—could this be better than that, how do these react, and how does the whole system go together? I’m willing to do the upfront work, which makes it expedient because I never have to repeat it.
In my work, I don’t want to be just doing stuff for the sake of doing stuff. I like to accomplish things—make a contribution. That’s real important. I take a “do it” type of approach. It’s very practical. It’s very here and now. That does not mean I don’t take into consideration the big picture and what’s down the road and what’s best for the organization, but at the same time my big focus is “let’s get this show on the road and let’s do it.” I do it as well as I can. Then I think very well on my feet. I can be quick with the verbal comeback—I like the impact. I just get in there and do it, and whatever job I go into, I hit the ground running. And I’m very competitive, often with myself. I tie one hand behind my back and see if I can still do it.
Those times that I have to use my heart, it drives me crazy because I’m looking for things in clear-cut answers. I have a hard time agreeing that other people look at things completely differently. People should think things through. I have a problem with people reading between the lines. They hear words I never say, and I select my words carefully. I can take myself out of it so I usually don’t take things personally. And I find I have to make a point to remember that people are part of the equation. I have to work that in.
I rarely work on one thing at a time. I get an idea and chase it down. I’m always studying—not just books but looking at what interests me. I customize everything I touch; people tell me I can’t do something, and I say sure I can. And I like time to just sit down and enjoy. But when I have too much time I tend to just pick away at things. I am really much better when there is a deadline.
I look at the world as a place to enjoy. I like things to smell good, taste good, look and feel good. I love exploring the outdoors. The peace and stillness, the little noises and different views. I feel really comfortable out there. I have no desire to be with people when I don’t know anybody. It’s a delightful sensation when I see an animal.
I don’t like the social stuff. It takes too much time, too much energy. I’m bored. I can’t figure out how to make myself more relaxed, and I never really know what I’m supposed to be saying. I have only a few close friends that I really see a lot. Yet people have seen me as someone very lively and talkative. That’s the part of me that likes life to be an adventure.
I like flexibility in what I do. Fun means something that interests me. Organized things don’t come to me easily, but I can do them. I’ve always found ways to make things fun. It’s a game to make sure you can come to the next point where you have freedom again There’s something insincere about doing something just because of somebody or something else. What I do has to make sense, have impact. I cannot stand just busy work. It has to be meaningful. I have an incredible amount of enthusiasm and passion for certain things that I do and want to see done.

Fate is truly going overtime in playing these cruel jokes on me.. just kill me already, why dont you? at least it'll be the end of it all..

I must have been soo bad.. done soo many wrongs to be tested this way.. i'm sorry but i am not that strong.. i give up.. i thot the tests are over.. i suppose i should have expected it, but i didnt think it would be this soon, this sudden.. am i asking for too much, just for a little peace..? a little slice of happiness?

maybe they are trying to tell me something.. that's why they say they love me, but marry another.. maybe that's why even after they're married, they still wont go away.. maybe i'm not meant for love and marriage.. maybe i've never truly learn to love & be loved.. maybe i'm not meant to be... maybe...

maybe i just need to get away from it all.. from everyone.. from everything.. if only i could..

amenda la lagi pakcik nie nak? sometimes the Boss can really get on my nerves.. i know la we've got the Big Boss coming in on monday to interrogate us.. but dont la start panicky & bugging me abt it.. you want to do something abt it.. you do it.. i've done my part & there's really nothing more i can add to it to save our butts, so you're not exactly helping here by making me go thru it 10 more times..

Sometime i do wonder how you lasted this long.. one time boss sneeze, you jump 5 storeys-high.. or maybe that's why the bosses just love you.. you'll commit something, but it's not you who dies.. it's us, the "kuli's"... so yes, you do not exactly help to remove the obstacle for me to do my job..

so stop panicking & just take the heat.. once it's over, then we can go back to our daily grind as usual.. if you start falling apart, what do you think i will do? you are supposed to be the boss you know.. i'm already doing as much as i can to help you.. but if you dont know a thing, how you want me help you face the boss? yeah sure, i already doing the answering & face the firing squad, i cant exactly cover for you at the same time..not my fault if you only "manage" & not know what's happening..

anyway.. i'll be as ready as i'll ever be.. (which is pretty much.. not! ) .. ;p

erk..already 4.30 & got another 15mins to get to that boarding gate...so better hurry.. cheh, i didnt even get to browse thru Changi's bookstore..they usually have some good stuff over here.. oh well, might as well not spend that money that i should not..haha..

what am i doing in spore in the middle of the week? god knows la.. boss ask me to.. so whatever.. if i can have another day to spend here, that would have been great but yeah right.. i'm so gonna miss all this travelling tho if i change job.. should really have that talk with my boss.. can i like.. not rotate into that boring analyst job thingy? hehe..