Princess Lilue

It's my birthday today!! ^_^

What a change from last year.
Change of status from single to married.
Change of living arrangements from living alone to having a permanent housemate.
Having to entertain 2 sets of families now.
Having to spend raya away from my own family.
Having to be the big sister, as compared to having only cousins.

But all on a positive side, although making  some of these changes are slightly on the arkward, mainly me coz I'm not used to being with new people. Kinda.

The first half of the year was pretty much spend having kenduri. My wedding up north was in Feb. Then we flew to Kuching for my brother-in-law's wedding in Mar. Then my husband's side of the wedding in May, followed by his brother's wedding at my mother-in-law's place.

Surprisingly i managed to keep up at work. Considering that i was flying solo (after my staff resigned on short notice) since november last year until my new staffs joined in Mar. I had to do month end closing, 2014 year end, annual report & forecast at the same time. By the time feb rolled around i thot i was going to collapse already. Fuh. But boss agreed to add another staff in my team so i had 2 new joiners, including a new boss added on in Jul. But with the change of FD & MD, that extra breathing space I'd thought we'd have with a bigger team, went straight down the drain. Aiyoh... we were working like headless chicken for the past few months & have yet to change still :(. Let see what they have in plan for us in the coming months, but not exactly (that i can see) working in our favor 😭...

Oh well...it's just a job right? So am working to balance my life a bit more, so that i can have more family time. So am gonna let the office chaos just slide over my head & close my eyes. At least that's the plan. 😕😕.

Here's to an exciting new year ahead. More changes & more fun. New motto for the year would be to do more of what makes me happy. So let's begin..😉

I'm feeling so restless lately. Been playing with my new toy aka the kenwood kmix mixer last weekend so the excitement has cool off somewhat. Hehe.

But I'm thinking of......
doing something.
See something new.
Explore.
Get lost.

Maybe I need a holiday.
Away from day to day life.

I feel like i'm losing control of my life.
Like its spiralling into a very dark hole & i have no idea how to climb out.

I dont know why i feel this way.
I dont know how to shake this feeling off.

What do i do?

Sometimes i feel like running away.
From everything.
From myself.
:(
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2012 is finally over and here comes 2013.

Favourite moments of 2012
Probably attending Big Bang Alive Tour in Stadium Merdeka in October. It was totally awesome!!! not to mention how difficult it was for me to manage to attend it. It was held the day after Aidil Adha, in KL. I told my mum that i wanted to return to KL right after our obligatory makan2, but since my brother & his siblings cant go back, we decided to celebrate it in KL instead. so right after we received that meat, we drove straight to KL and started preparing the house for the next day. i barely sat down from the moment i woke up the next day, until it was time for me to leave for the concert. i even missed a few more guests coz they came after Asar.
At the stadium, seems that some fans had camped there since morning & people kept on coming. We totally couldnt find the gate to our ticket entrance due to the massive people-jam & bad signage. when we finally got to our stand & waiting for the concert to start, it started pouring, heavier by the minute. we were afraid that the organisors might postpone or cancel the concert, but no one moved from their spot, rain or not. sure enough, the moment the curtain dropped, the rain finally stopped & the madness begins. ^_^ To finally being able to see Big Bang live, i almost didnt know where to look trying to follow Ji, Tae, TOP, Dae and VI.

I also managed to go to FT Island's Play earlier in the year. For the first time in my life, i can finally say that there's someone who sounds so so much better live than in recording. And you totally cant tell that Hongki, the lead singer was having flu that night given how active he was jumping through the nite. and his voice still sounds as amazing during the last song, as it was during the first one. It was also the first indoor concert that i've been to recently.

unfortunately i had to back out from attending BAP, although Elly said that they were really good.

Other non-kpop news, we finally have a princess in the house.. the first granddaughter for both sides, 7th's grandchild for my parents, and the first from my cousin's wife side. and yes, she was sitting on my mum's leg. haha..


p/s: i just realised that i didnt make my obligatory birthday post this year. as usual, nothing fancy. just another day at home. Nora came by for tea & chat. had a bunch of non-birthday related presents - christmas pressies and souvenir from my parents' trip to china. Good enough for me, i'm thankful for everything that i have, and all that i dont, for family and friends and that is blessing enough.

aha...

i just realised something....

i can spend hours "mengodek"/ "fiddlying" with my budget/forecast/analysis file...
but i get stressed when i have to do:
- recon work
- transactionional steps.
- trouble shotting copa/system and/or tracing some movement in sap. (somehow i'm still okay with excel)

hmmm.. what does that mean.. hehehe...

Is it possible to be bored working with people?
to not want to work with people?
Isnt there a job that do not require you to deal much with people? stand alone projects maybe?
i dont mind.

Sigh..
People skills, delegations and follow ups are not my strength.
And at the moment, i am not really looking into improving my weaknesses, even though i know i should.

and i also need to work on NOT being so nice.
Gotta be more assertive & "garang".
errr.. how? that is hard...

and there's so much expectations on being a manager.
on leadership.
on proposal for improvements.
on having your input in just about every single projects.
on keeping others on their toes.

sigh. i know its what i need to do it but...


p/s: another thing. i know i need to pick up/understand transactional process/logic, but i really, really dont like it. i dont mind analysing work. but i admit i'm not very good at the nitty, gritty details. i'm not patient enough. :(

Its so difficult sometimes..
When you're at point a & you know you need to get to point b & you can see what point b "looks like".. But you have absolutely no idea how to get from point a to b.

Or maybe its just that i'm not patient enough. :(


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How do you know..

if you have chemistry with that person?

if that person is the one?

is it something you built up? this chemistry thing?

i find it very difficult to make friends. let alone to find the one. its a very rare thing for me to find a friend like Elly, who eerily happens to have a tons of things in common with me. ^_^ from our choices of men, music, kpop, kdrama to family, life in general & etc. obviously kpop, or specifically hyun joong was the reason we started connecting to each other. heck, we "talk" through whatsapp, twitter, fb, gmail/yahoo & office mail on daily basis now. and now that my office is right in front of hers, means we also get to have lots of last minute lunch dates. but she'll be moving soon, although not too far, but not as convenient as it is now.

so this new guy i met.
i've yet to see him in person (he has been pointed out to me before & i guess vice versa).
i've also yet to hear his voice over the phone.
i have been "talking" to him via sms (every 2 days. very specific one this guy).
so i am not making any specific decisions.
and i am reserving my full judgement when i actually get to see how we interact with each other in person.
i have no doubt he's a nice guy, i can tell from his messages (plus the things that i've been told upfront).
i have no issue with his background/job/qualification/whatever else you'd look in a partner that is.
and i know he's kinda shy.
and his messages are not rigid/serious. in fact he's quite the witty-joker type.

we "talk" but at the same time i feel like its not..erm.. it doesnt flow very well.
i dont know if its because he's not the greatest conversationalist.
i dont know if its because he's just very reserved. & careful about what he says.
i do know that if i'm going to be with a guy for the rest of my life, i need to be able to talk to him.
which for me who dont converse well myself, is a difficult feat to accomplish.

so now how? guess i'll have to wait and see how this plays out.

Since i've gotten my new toy... there are a few adjustments that i think i need to do.

Firstly, i seriously need to wifi-ed my house. yess.. i am still using streamyx, connected by wire *shock* to the modem. ha ha. since this is the cny week, most digital outlets are still closed, so i'll have to wait. it's just getting that router thingy right? i'm have to decipher it somehow on how to set it up.. :p any nerd-alert around? hehhe

secondly.. with such a huge gadget, i think i need re-look at my "mode of transportation" aka my handbag. at the moment, i have err loads of craps in it really..and an ipad barely fit in there anyway (if i plan to zip it up i mean). and the whole point of having one is it's portability isnt it? i might not be carrying it every single day (but then why not? reality check: as if i have the time) but i want to at least be able to carry it around when i want to. but i also dont want to look like i'm carrying a luggage bag with me either.

am surveying for a larger handbag. these are some of the designs that i like.. mind you, designs aka shape, not brands .. coz i doubt i can afford an original ones. but wouldnt it be really amazing if i can get an original wont it? haha.. i prefer the squishy type, preferably leather rather than the hard-shaped & shiny type. err i'm too "ganas" & i'll probably be knocking things over with my bags, so i dont want to have scratches & lines & whatnots on my bag. anyway, these below are a dream. where can i get me one of these babies?

I feel like a 2-year old for feeling this way but i cant help it.

I may not be on my death bed, but when i say i'm sick, i truly am sick. And i'm not just fishing for sympathy, but you could have at least shown some, maybe a lil bit concern. Even statuesque/no-expression hyun joong can buy his buin medicines behind her back, you cant even be bothered to ask me how am i doing?

People say its the little things that count. I dont care about your money, your big cars & whatnots.. And i can only read so much from the crumbs of lines that you gave me. So forgive me if i make my own conclusion. I've been on my own for far too long so no worries about me not being able to take care of myself.. but if you plan to be in my life, you better make it a good one, coz otherwise, please.... Just leave me alone!!



- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Do i know what i'm doing? Hell, no! :p




- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

sigh.. #IfYouWereMine....

• December 29 =The Day of High Status

• Capricorn's born December 29 are often destined to play a leading role in the life around them.

• Capricorn's born December 29 has a low key sense of humor which is not always noticed or appreciated.

• Highly intelligent #Capricorn's born December 29 are able to work both sides of the brain well.”

So.. another year has passed. 


Apart from the new job, everything else is still pretty much the same. oh, and i may have gained a few more unwanted pounds.. sob sob.. 


Plans for the day? none so far, apart from loads of work. (god, i sound so pathetic..keke).. i do have the department lunch & secret santa gift to look forward to. Just hope that for once i get some decent presents.. i always get the worst presents ever.. sob sob.. what i wouldnt give to receive a huge bouquet of flowers, like that show on tv just now. even if it was from her brother, not her husband. A girl can only dream, cant she? sigh.. 

If u think you're not making progress, look at where u were a year ago & you'll see how far you've come! :) #TheSW

Why?

C.R.A.P.

Be realistic; always wish what is impossible. - Paulo Coelho

haih.. susah betul la nak ikut cakap mak...