Princess Lilue: 2011

Dec 30, 2011

Post-Birthday thoughts..

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It wasnt too bad today. Had the department lunch at Bangkok House, food's not bad, although quite on the expensive side. I even got myself a very pretty, home-made no-longer-secret santa present from one of the temp staff in my department. Had a whole lot of wishes through FB, although my bro & cousins & besties chose to wish me through sms instead. My cousin Izni decided to treat me with an early dinner (or more like pre-dinner since both of us are still full from lunch), plus a piece of birthday cake (kinda like tiramisu, but not exactly) with candle, before heading back to her mother's. Her sister, Kak Anis was still at home (My aunt baby-sits the grandson so Kak Anis will pick him up after work before heading back to her own house), so both of us Dec29 babies got to celebrate together-gether for a change. ^_^

December 29 =The Day of High Status

Capricorn's born December 29 are often destined to play a leading role in the life around them.

Capricorn's born December 29 has a low key sense of humor which is not always noticed or appreciated.

Highly intelligent #Capricorn's born December 29 are able to work both sides of the brain well.”

Dec 29, 2011

Saengil Chukahamnida...

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Happy Birthday to me..

So.. another year has passed.

Apart from the new job, everything else is still pretty much the same. oh, and i may have gained a few more unwanted pounds.. sob sob..

Plans for the day? none so far, apart from loads of work. (god, i sound so pathetic..keke).. i do have the department lunch & secret santa gift to look forward to. Just hope that for once i get some decent presents.. i always get the worst presents ever.. sob sob.. what i wouldnt give to receive a huge bouquet of flowers, like that show on tv just now. even if it was from her brother, not her husband. A girl can only dream, cant she? sigh..

If u think you're not making progress, look at where u were a year ago & you'll see how far you've come! :) #TheSW

Dec 27, 2011

Happy

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Pretending to be happy doesn't make you happy. But I hope you are as happy as you are pretending to be. #TLS

Dec 6, 2011

How to Fulfill Your Dream

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If you don't have a dream, start thinking about what the dream for your life is. Start believing that just having a dream begins the process of fulfilling it. You can do it if you're willing to let every step you take move you in that direction. Remember, you deserve the best life has to offer.

Read more: http://www.oprah.com/oprahs-lifeclass/How-to-Fulfill-Your-Dream-Video#ixzz1flhsTSZW

I really should start thinking of a dream for myself, right? after all, my birthday is right around the corner & its time to rethink what now..

Nov 21, 2011

what the future holds..

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One of the questions we received during a recent training was what do you see yourself doing at 60..

Hmm.. to tell the truth, i have absolutely no idea. i never did planned my life upfront, let alone planning 5,10 or 30 years ahead. Plans for next three month is also a vague thing. see what i mean...

But i do know i do not want to stay in this rat race til i'm 60. huhu, to stay another 10 years is already giving me nightmares..

Oct 6, 2011

Let us read

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"Let us read and let us dance; these two amusements will never do any harm to the world" - Voltaire

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Aug 18, 2011

Rock Bottom

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was watching JK Rowling's interview with Oprah, where she was talking about how hitting rock bottom was the start of her success.

i admit, i'm not sure i've ever hit rock bottom. failures sure, sadness - lotsa times. rock bottom - maybe not quite. life has its ups & downs. i've been at the "down" part a few times. it's no fun i tell you. but does tells you what you want (or rather what you dont want) in life..

but yeah, its not the fall that defines you. its what you do when you fall that matters. if you fall but dont pick yourself up after that, then that's it. no one can really help you.

I'm still having that.. out-of-sort feeling.

like i'm not anchored, or in malay "terumbang-ambing".

wonder why..

I know at the new place i've yet to err, "make roots" (i'm a capri, very slow at these kind of stuffs)..

but at the same time, not sure why my terumbang-ambing phase is taking so long..

maybe i expect too much of myself.

i tend to do so.

then when i get frustrated with myself, i "give up" (for a short while that's it).

take it as a fight-with-myself kinda thing. some days i win, some days i lose. :(

Aug 11, 2011

new playground..

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not sure what is wrong with me..

could be due to the change - new place, new job, new faces.. still trying to absorb it all

could just be due to pms.. hahah..

but i do feel out of sort somehow..

not that i dont like the place, i do. it has potentials.

the job - i can tell they are going easy on me for the moment.

maybe it's just that i was really eager to prove myself, the shock from non-stop working to almost no job/tasks at all.. the mind just cant take it..

so when i did finally have something to do, the mind went blank.

i do have tendencies to.. lack of a better word, slack off a bit at first. not so much coz i dont want to do it or such. just that doing something for the first time, i tend to fumble a little.. like trying to move in the dark kinda thing.. tried to avoid it, but somehow, it repeats itself.. i do get better in time, of course..

Noticed i started to read again? partly coz i have some time on my hand..

Another reason is i'm burying my head in the books, to buy time..

to not face my fears just yet. but i do have to. no one else can do it for me..

is notorious for over analyzing every situation we encounter, so patience is key when dealing with us.

It's hard for a

to bear a situation which we have no control over.

shuts down completely emotionally when stressed.

Jul 30, 2011

Kpop Bias..

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1 - Your current obsession - GDragon

2 - Your ultimate bias - Kim Hyun Joong

3 - Your cutest bias - Hongki

4 -Your bias with the best eye-smile ^ ^ err.. kikwang maybe?

5 - Your favourite lead vocal - Young Saeng & Jae Joong

6 - Your favourite maknae - SS501's Baby, Hyung Jun.. dont know much abt him, but BEAST's maknae is also cute..

7 - Your favourite leader - i cant choose between Kim Hyun Joong & GDragon.. Ji maybe..

8 - Your hottest bias - at the moment, definitely Kim Hyun Joong

9 - Your shyest bias - TOP..kekek.. i think he's really shy..

10 - Your bias with the best abs - Kim hyun Joong. Ji's abs pun pretty cool..

Jul 26, 2011

Sajak Penutup Halaqah Sentuhan Qalbu

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Sajak penutup Halaqah Sentuhan Qalbu (Catriona Ross) :

Apakah semerbak melur ini,
apakah wangi kasturi ini,
apakah ini sampai ajalku?

apakah nafas ini,
apakah nyawa ini,
kalbu, roh, dan jasad ini,
akan kau ambil sekejap lagi?

pohonku hanyalah 1,
Kau jadikanlah aku seorang yang beriman,
sebelum Mungkar dan Nangkir menyoal "Marobbuka....."

Jul 21, 2011

Who are you to question me?

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Why?

I dont mean to condemn guys these days.. but seriously??? can you be any more... irresponsible?

i'm not asking for the moon. Just for you to work. get a steady income, whatever that may be. lower than me if you have to, better if its higher of course.

@HeartCapricorn: #Capricorns are very, very, very, very, annoyed with people who lack common sense.

if i can work round the clock, til 4am, 8am the next day,.. working most weekends....

why cant guys hold a decent paying job?

sibuk nak ber-business, hutang sana sini, tak boleh keje ngan orang la, nak jadi self sufficient la..

if you're making millions, lain la cerita.. ini diri sendiri pun tak lepas.

Karang yang dikejar tak dapat, yang dikendong keciciran..

what the heck??

@paulocoelho: Life means taking the responsibility to fulfill the tasks we need to face

As a women, as a third party, i cannot change your mind.

You need to stop and look your fears in the face.

Be honest with yourself first and foremost.

Swallow your pride & accept the concequences

RT @HeartCapricorn: #Capricorn has little tolerance for flakiness or unreliable people.

@TheLoveStories: #sadtruth There comes a time when walking away is the best for everyone. #TLS

Jul 19, 2011

Right now..

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C.R.A.P.

Sometimes i'm too strong for my own good. Why must i be so? it's tiring...

Jul 7, 2011

Family..

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"What is family? They were the people who claimed you. In good, in bad, in parts or in whole, they were the ones who showed up, who stayed in there, regardless. It wasn't just about blood relations or shared chromosomes, but something wider, bigger. We had many families over time. Our family of origin, the family we created, and the groups you moved through while all of this was happening: friends, lovers, sometimes even strangers. None of them perfect, and we couldn't expect them to be. You can't make any one person your world. The trick was to take what each could give you and build your world from it."
— Sarah Dessen

Jun 13, 2011

My Kpop World..

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Hmm.. some are pretty difficult actually.. haha..

1 - Top 5 Groups - SS501, Big Bang, JYJ, CN Blue & FT Island

2 - Top 5 Boy Groups - SS501, Big Bang, JYJ, CN Blue & FT Island

3 - Top 5 Girl Groups - erm, i dont really follow GirlBand except 2NE1 maybe.. erm.. maybe Wondergirls, SNSD, T-ara & Miss A.. that i can think off my head.. hehe

4 - Top 5 Handsome Male Kpop Idols - this is super easy - Kim Hyun Joong, Jae Joong, TOP, GDragon, Jang Geun Suk..

5 - Top 5 Gorgeous Female Kpop Idols - erm.. Dara, Bom, CL, Park Min Young err, ntah la who else..

6 - Top 5 Male Kpop Biases - Kim Hyun Joong, Jae Joong, TOP, GDragon, Jang Geun Suk..

7 - Top 5 Female Kpop Biases - erm.. CL, Dara, Bom,.......

8 - Top 5 Favorite Kpop MVs - Love Ya, Haru Haru, Beautiful Hangover, Baby Good Night, Mirotic

9 - Top 5 Favorite Kpop songs - Love Ya, Haru Haru, Cafe, Baby Good Night, Like Nothing Happened..

10 - Your biases in your Top 5 kpop groups - Kim Hyun Joong (SS501), Jae Joong (JYJ), TOP/GDragon (I cant choose between them hehe), YongHwa (CN Blue)

Jun 11, 2011

Food for thought

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What do you think the situation is like when everyone (in my company) that i've told that i'm leaving, said please take them along.. :p

Means my decision is the right one, yes? Insya Allah..

P/s: if only i can disipline myself to lose these weight i've gained from eating late nites & heavy meals since i moved to cbj.. Kalau i'm the type to lose weight at times of stress takpe gak ;(

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May 31, 2011

Decisions.. decisions...

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Be realistic; always wish what is impossible. - Paulo Coelho

Is it impossible to wish for a better life? and i'm not talking about monetary aspect of it really.. to be greedy & have it all? Like Oprah said, you can have it, but you cant have it all.

"If you're going through hell, keep going." - Winston Churchill

I have gone thru hell. it's not totally over, but getting slightly better. But do i want to still be here? or move on to a greener pasture? or does that patch of grass only look greener from where i'm sitting? But wouldnt i be stupid to pass on this chance of a lifetime? what is life if you dont gamble every now & then? what will be the outcome - only god knows..

big picture wise - i need to jump, do something, make a chance. this is a good time as any.

feeling wise - there are still things i wanna do. plus that tiny voice inside my head screaming fear. can i do it? wont i screw up? but i wont know til i try right? they believe in me, why not myself?

Remember that at any moment you can reinvent yourself..be different..choose a new path. - TheSingleWoman

p/s: ignore my posts.. the voices in my head are basically having a major screamfest right now. it's leaning towards one side & my decision are 90% there, if not 99%.. ya allah, make this decision the right one for me..

May 5, 2011

Haih

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To stay pun susah, to move on pun susah.. Ottokae? Sigh..

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Apr 7, 2011

Stress!

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Ah stress nya..

If i was that great, i wouldnt be working til morning to finish my work right? So why did you think i asked for your help to do the task? Aku pun x pernah buat, so sama2 la kita garu kepala pikir camne nak buat. Ini dah 3 hari, you're still at "tak start lagi".. How u expect me to answer that? *tension*!!

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Mar 11, 2011

Gone Crazy. Back Soon...

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Crazy or not, i'm leaving this place. Be back in 2 weeks...... :)

Feb 14, 2011

V-day?

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Apa la nak kecoh ngan benda allah v-day ni..

To me, i will celebrate ANY day that will give me a free time-off, no disturbance, no calls, no impending deadline looming over my head!! Wa - hey, if such day ever arrives..

I've already worked on:

- New Year's eve

- New Year

- Hari Wilayah

- Chinese New Year (both days)

- on my birthday, til 1am some more..

- last week, the absolute over-the-top, officially bate-night records, i literally worked 24hours. Only left office at 8.30 the next day.. (oh by the way, it resulted in total exhaustion, given that the whole week, i only got abt less than 4hrs max sleep per night. Slept for 2 days, now i'm dredging office tomorrow. yikes!)

(Note: all these over-works are THIS year alone.. what month is it today again? Feb only, right? sigh..)

So tell me again, what V-Day?

P/s: To those who do celebrate (err, this is for whom again? i dont think i know who it's for in the first place.. keke) selamat la ek.. i'll just worry about leaving office before midnight, yes?

Jan 25, 2011

??

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I'm so stressed out & i dont even know why. :(

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Jan 22, 2011

mana nak ikut?

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haih.. susah betul la nak ikut cakap mak...

she says i need to get married.

she says i'm not doing enough to get a man.

she says i need to change something to make people like me.

she also says dont ever trust a guy 100%.

she also says dont let your husband ever borrow money from you.

she also says dont be fooled by guys, who only wants your money.

she said i should not go out at night.

she said i must go home straight after work.

she also said i am not meeting anyone.

she also said i am not making the effort to meet anyone.

so when do i meet "anyone"?

she wont allow me to go to korea.

she says i cant go coz its all girls.

she says i cant go coz its not a package (we want to go ourselves).

she says i cant go coz i dont understand the language.

i used to travel all over europe, without a guide, takpe pun.

i went to italy without understanding the language, takpe pun.

i went to france/switzerland without understanding the language, takpe pun.

i travelled around europe being my parents' guide, takpe pun.

haiiihhh.. aku pening la.. hence i am saying it again. i'll be a hermit je la.

i wont go out of the house.

i wont go anywhere.

i wont do anything.

i wont be in danger.

i wont be making you worried.

Happy now?

Jan 21, 2011

Wae..

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I'm tired.
Really tired.
Tired of fighting.
Tired of trying to be someone you want.

If given a choice, i think i'd be a hermit. I almost am one these days. Surrounded by my books & the net is enough for me.

People are too hard to get along with. People dont get me, i dont get them.

I'm happy being me. Even if it means i have more enemies than friends. I still dont get why, it's not like i'm bugging anyone's life, is it? At most, i'm wasting my life, not yours. Stop expecting too much out of me.

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Jan 20, 2011

Wings

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Wings by Aprilynne Pike

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I'm pleasantly surprised that i like this book. I started reading Wicked Lovely, but it wasnt quite as intesting to me. Could be because the language is too teen-lingo? maybe.

It started with Laurel's first day at school after years of homeschooling. She's always been different, but never gave it much thought. She met David, a friendly classmate who's into science. She woke up one morning with a bump on her back, which turned out to be a wing-like flower and resulted in the revelation that she is actually a plant/faerie. With the help of a male-faerie, Tamani, she learned about her background & how she ended up being adopted by humans.

I liked the flow of the story & also how the author weaved in the love-triangle. However, i still ca3nt imagine the wing-like flower, which wilted after a period & the whole faerie-world yet. Maybe the next book will bring some light on it.

View all my reviews

Jan 18, 2011

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i know i have no particular ambition that i aimed for.
i just want to be good in what i do.
i just want to like what i do.
regardless of the pay, although high pay is good.

right now, i totally am NOT into my job.
i'm not sure if it's my boss.
or it's the business.
or just the tasks itself.
Company's not too bad, most of the time.

i can cope with most things.
but when i hate what i do....
then i just cant continue..
i cant do it..

u can say that i cant handle stress..
although my stress level is most likely higher than lots of others...

but for me to leave..
i doubt if i can get the same pay as now...
market out there are not that great..
some managerial roles out there are even lower than my current pay..
altho, they also only mostly asking for someone with abt 5 years' experience or so..

but one thing i've learned..
it's no fun & games being in managerial post..
plus you've got people reporting to you..
doing your own job is easy enough..
but to manage others?? headache!!

plus i so do not want any job that revolved around closing..
be it if i do not perform, but managing others who do,..
i'd have to also be available during closing..
eek.. tak nak... !!

throughout 2010, i not only did NOT take any of my annual leave..
i was also working throughout public holidays, weekends and burning the midnight oil during quarter closing..
i've only been doing this for abt 3 quarters, include 1st time performing year end..
i'm ready to give up..
i have absolutely no idea how the others do this day in and day out, for years :(

so i want to go travel this year.. ottokae? how to do so? i have the money (err, i think it's enough.. keke) but i havent got the time.. help!!
the company cant stop me from going right???

Jan 17, 2011

Guilty

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is it wrong for me to want some me-time? i do want to go back & be with my family, dont get me wrong. but i also want some time for myself. not that i actually do anything specific in particular, but still. why do i feel guilty then??

;;

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