Princess Lilue

could be due to the change - new place, new job, new faces.. still trying to absorb it all

but i do feel out of sort somehow..

not that i dont like the place, i do. it has potentials.

the job - i can tell they are going easy on me for the moment.

maybe it's just that i was really eager to prove myself, the shock from non-stop working to almost no job/tasks at all.. the mind just cant take it..

so when i did finally have something to do, the mind went blank.

i do have tendencies to.. lack of a better word, slack off a bit at first. not so much coz i dont want to do it or such. just that doing something for the first time, i tend to fumble a little.. like trying to move in the dark kinda thing.. tried to avoid it, but somehow, it repeats itself.. i do get better in time, of course..

Noticed i started to read again? partly coz i have some time on my hand..

Another reason is i'm burying my head in the books, to buy time..

to not face my fears just yet. but i do have to. no one else can do it for me..