Princess Lilue

i know i have no particular ambition that i aimed for.
i just want to be good in what i do.
i just want to like what i do.
regardless of the pay, although high pay is good.

right now, i totally am NOT into my job.
i'm not sure if it's my boss.
or it's the business.
or just the tasks itself.
Company's not too bad, most of the time.

i can cope with most things.
but when i hate what i do....
then i just cant continue..
i cant do it..

u can say that i cant handle stress..
although my stress level is most likely higher than lots of others...

but for me to leave..
i doubt if i can get the same pay as now...
market out there are not that great..
some managerial roles out there are even lower than my current pay..
altho, they also only mostly asking for someone with abt 5 years' experience or so..

but one thing i've learned..
it's no fun & games being in managerial post..
plus you've got people reporting to you..
doing your own job is easy enough..
but to manage others?? headache!!

plus i so do not want any job that revolved around closing..
be it if i do not perform, but managing others who do,..
i'd have to also be available during closing..
eek.. tak nak... !!

throughout 2010, i not only did NOT take any of my annual leave..
i was also working throughout public holidays, weekends and burning the midnight oil during quarter closing..
i've only been doing this for abt 3 quarters, include 1st time performing year end..
i'm ready to give up..
i have absolutely no idea how the others do this day in and day out, for years :(

so i want to go travel this year.. ottokae? how to do so? i have the money (err, i think it's enough.. keke) but i havent got the time.. help!!
the company cant stop me from going right???