Princess Lilue

i dont really know what is it that ppl see when they see me.. i think most people would be pretty surprised if they'd know what goes on in my mind.. as it is, people tend to comment that they're quite surprised when they actually get to know me..

i know i seem to portray (not by purpose, mind you) that i'm:
- nice
- intelligent
- hardworking
- friendly
- brave
- independent
- ambitious
- artistic

However, i think that i am:
- not as nice that ppl think
- selfish
- whiner
- lazy
- watch too much tv
- not independent
- cold
- not good with responsibility
- not artistic, more like "kasar"..


well, i guess the list could go on & on.. i supposed it is just my insecurities that makes me undermime my own capabilities, which of course should not be broadcast to the public.. yet at the same time, i'm just soo afraid that one day someone would notice the real me or that i'd screw up royally..

i know she exaggerate things.. but i dont think that when i was living in her house, my actions was as bad as she says it is (e.g. didnt wash my plates, didnt clean the toilet, hog the tv),... that it warrented me being kick out of the house.. i mean, i know i'm no angel or some clean-freak person & i dont clean up as much as i should.. but surely not to that extend? or is it? ... but given her reputation in bad-mouthing her own kin, i supposed ppl dont give her stories much credit.. but still..

till then, guess i'll continue fumbling thru life the best that i know of.. and try to hold my head above water.. most of the time..