Oct 17, 2009
Once i was seeing this guy & he told me that he could not be the gentleman that i was looking for.. guess he was right.. and we parted as friends..
To most people, being a gentleman may be an antiquated idea.. but then i'm not talking about someone who holds the door for you or pull out the chair for you.. i'm talking about someone who would put you first above all. One who respects you. and my elders (and theirs). One who is responsible. One who could be the head of the family. One who would do anything to see you smile.
As a Malay, "orang yang beradap" (err loosely translated as one who knows his manners or the local culture) is quite important. As least to my family. We deal with our elders, our relatives, guests, etc on daily basis. There are time & places for everything. The right way to entertain them. How you mingle/speak with them. The things expected from you. How you treat your parents. What do you do when there are guests.. What you can or cannot do.. etc...
There are rules for everything. It's difficult to remember them all. I know. I try & I still get it wrong... :( and imagine that i'm talking about now. not centuries back, when the rules are way, way more rigid. nor am i talking about being around royalties or high society and whatnots. just your basic day-to-day manners.
My father is a true gentleman. In fact, most men of his generation are. But my generation take these things as unimportant.. remeh... something that is outdated. but how can good manners be outdated? I have to say, i've known some, but most men i meet these days.. hmm... are nice guys, but by no means are they gentleman. Or am i expecting too much?
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Out of all the places I've been and the nationalities I've met, it has to be said that my home guys (British guys) are so much more well-mannered than anywhere else. But I think that's a British thing.
Whenever I start to think that no-one around me is polite or a 'gentleman' anymore, I think about all the other rude people I've met elsewhere in the world. The British hold manners and politeness in such high regard. My friend from uni (who's American) even commented saying that he was gobsmacked at how polite everyone was here (which is hilarious when I hear the kids in the school down the street swearing their heads off these days :P )
But like you said it, kids in school now swears their heads off & no one blinks an eye.. Just to show you that it's not just a country thing.. *wink*..
I'm Asian & i suppose "gentleman" is not quite the right word to explain it. It's more than just manners i suppose. There's the culture part of it, which we seem to be losing, day by day..
that's modernization for you.. ;p