Princess Lilue

Capricorn -Monday, 13th November 2006
Suppose you require a new sofa. Your old one is most uncomfortable. You have to carefully arrange the cushions just to sit down for just a few moments. Should you keep the current piece of furniture until you have a replacement - or should you throw it out? That, more or less makes a metaphor for your current dilemma. You may be far better off with nothing to sit on than with the wrong sort of seat. The latter will encourage you to put up with a poor situation for longer than you should.

Apart from this being a zodiac reading thingy & how u should not believe in it yadda yadda yadda..., it does express exactly what's in my mind right now.. if i follow what my heart says, i'd probably "throw the old sofa" today regardless when i'll get the new one.. but practicality has been drummed into my head since forever, which means that i'll put up with the old one til i get the replacement.. but i so dont want to.. :( at times like this i wished that i'm much more of a risk taker but can't shush away that little voice in my head telling me that i should not be burning my bridges unless i'm sure i can get to the other side safely.. *sigh*

Hmm..havent written in a long while.. dunno where to start already.. hehe..

OK, let start with the raya stories.. raya was a full house this year.. Abang decided to raya in penang this year, plus both his younger brother/sister... of course, after raya prayers, some salam2 & photo sessions, they left to go beraya with their dad & their dad's side..

Muah had to do some work during the hols tho :(.. altho, time raya, every gets pushed aside la... but of course.. :D had our yearly raya rounds to my mum's aunt/uncles houses on the 1st day, but came 2nd raya, so lazy to go anywhere.. with the rainy season an all.. hehe.. even tho we left for KL on wed, decided not to stop by our 'kampung', instead went straight back home.. did go for a few rounds of beraya with my parents here in kl, but otherwise, stayed home or went shopping instead.. so-the anti-social this year.. ahaks..

I didnt really have time to make anything for raya, but the 1batch of biscuits i made, ada org minat weh..akak tuh siap minta resepi lagi.. hehe.. so can make more la in future.. ahaks.. there's a few stuff i wanted to try out, but didnt have a chance.. plus who's gonna finish it up? ;p

The thing was, since came back from raya.. i think i've been working like 14-15hrs a day.. urgh..including the team building thingy we had last week.. beraya ngan org pun belum ni..
:( hopefully i'm able to take the day off tomorrow.. wish me luck! anyway, got 2 open house to go to this weekend plus the company annual dinner on sunday..

I know it's still a few more days to go, but might as well la.. just got in hometown this morning.. my head is wayyy spinning by now..only had like 2 hrs of sleep last nite, before i had to wake up for sahur & leave the house to catch my flight at 7am.. well, i'd say hopefully i'll get an uninterrupted hols, but seeing i havent finished my work really, (which by the way, so not in the mood to do), cant blame them, right.. :( so must finish it tomorrow, a must..

anyway, got another problem to think over this raya.. aiyoo..


To all those folks out there, if i had done any wrongs to you, intentionally or not, i sincerely ask for your forgiveness, from the bottom of my heart.. Drive carefully & dont forget to invite me to your Open Houses.. hehe..
Selamat Hari Raya & Maaf Zahir Batin.. !


P/S: To Mdm.Neighbour.. congrats on your new addition.. beraya with baby girl la tahun ni ek.. :) will go visit once u come back from hometown after pantang, i assume ..

It’s easy to choose between right and wrong. It’s choosing either the greater between two goods and the lesser between two evils that gives a greater challenge. And that is how life is.

MsBestFriend is now officially MrsBF....she has finally left the "singleton" world and joined the "married couples" group...

I wish you all the happiness in the world, girl! Take good care of each other now.. ;D

Hehe.. been so long since i've updated anything.. too much to think about, too busy to do anything abt it, too depressed abt too many things.. ahaks..

Erk.. Ms.BestFriend is getting married next week.. Hmm.. now have to share her with Mr.BF.. :( Well, he 'd better be good to her..which he is, so far.. so need to go shop for wedding gift this weekend.. any ideas huh?

mua? although not quite ready to follow the cliche of being a single-with-a-cat type person (and no plans of getting a cat anytime soon.. hehe).., but so do not feel like "melayan" guys with requests such as "wants a girl who wears baju kurung/kain all the time" .. yeah..yeah.. this girl loves her jeans okay? so dont hold your breath just yet..

Will have to update abt my trip to Sabah later.. a quick quiz for the weekend..Have a good one people!

You are a Brainy Girl!

Whether you're an official student or a casual learner, you enjoy hitting the books. You know a little bit about everything, and you're always dying to know more. For a guy to win your heart, he's got to share some of your intellectual interests. A awesome book collection of his own doesn't hurt either!

"When you're young, your whole life is about the pursuit of fun, then you grow up and learn to be cautious; you could break a bone, or a heart. You look before you leap and sometimes you don't leap at all because there's not always someone there to catch you. And in life, there is no safety net. When did it stop being fun and start being scary?"

-Carrie Bradshaw From Sex and the City

Argghh.. the most frustrating thing abt current work situation is that i'm working blindly.. heck, dunno la what i'm doing.. can la, get the blind to lead the blind.. haha.. erghh... cant take the pressure weh..!! and the workload..*sigh*.. isnt there a "simpler" job that i can do instead?


been listening to this anyway.. even if not related to the topic..hehe

Artist: Lifehouse
Song: Blind

Lyric:
I was young but I wasn't naive
I watched helpless as he turned around to leave
And still I have the pain I have to carry
A past so deep that even you could not bury if you tried

After all this time
I never thought we'd be here
Never thought we'd be here
When my love for you was blind
But I couldn't make you see it
Couldn't make you see it
That I loved you more than you'll ever know
A part of me died when I let you go

I would fall asleep
Only in hopes of dreaming
That everything would be like is was before
But nights like this it seems are slowly fleeting
They disappear as reality is crashing to the floor

After all this time
I never thought we'd be here
Never thought we'd be here
When my love for you was blind
But I couldn't make you see it
Couldn't make you see it
That I loved you more than you'll ever know
A part of me died when I let you go

After all this time
Would you ever wanna leave it
Maybe you could not believe it
That my love for you was blind
But I couldn't make you see it
Couldn't make you see it
That I loved you more than you will ever know
A part of me died when I let you go
And I loved you more than you'll ever know
A part of me dies when I let you go

How can u say that U “know” I kinda have a lot on my plate which i MUST complete by today, so why dont I “prioritise” my work, in order to get it done when it's your work that i'm trying to salvage on top of my own work?? … aiiyyyyooooooo… ada yg nak kena lempang ni…

Oh no...I’ve already got some major ulcers.. totally dried lips (which somehow my lipbalm not having any affects)..and jerawat – arghh!! getting break outs merata2.. this job is totally not good for my body.. or mind for that matter.. :(

Errkk.. tell me why again did i take up this field of job? ntah ler.. ;p still trying to figure that out.. hehe..

These days, i'm stuck in the office till late.. trying to understand what exactly i'm doing.. the one i'm replacing has left & my replacement have yet to come.. great planning huh? typical!

okla.. i'm just abt 4 weeks-old into this new job of mine & heck, i'm still lost.. i guess that's expected, right? but still, doesnt help that there's load of datelines to meet.. i think i shud go home now.. cant think no more.. i'll figure out later what to say in the meeting tomorrow..that is if i can answer at all.. hehe..

I'm stressed...

I'm tired...

I wanna go home..

uwaa...!! :(

Life is full of people who will make you laugh, cry, smile until your face hurts, and so happy that you think you’ll burst. But the ones who leave their footprints on your soul are the ones that keep your life
going.
-Natalie Bernot

Hmm...was just checking my friendster earlier.. surprise, surprise... my a-level junior, Miss.Junior is in my ‘new friend requests’.. eh, I thot she didn’t like me? Well, you know, with Mr.JealousWife issue & other stuff (wayyy too long a story to tell and not something i'd want to tell here..), we were not exactly the best of friends when we were at school..

Plus I’m a nobody mah (in her books that is.. ahaks).. not some high flying achiever nor related/friends with any big-shots, doing the name-dropping thingy.. i couldn't care less about such stuff then... or ever, really... hehe..

Come to think of it, I have had no contact with any of my juniors at all since I left the school.. was actually hoping to stay that way really.. hehe.. terrible huh? no wonder I have so many “enemies”.. but I did promise myself, not to associate myself with ppl who don’t like me..or at least to minimize the contact.. ahaks.. it's easier on the mind.. and heart..

by Tiger

I think I have heard
An unspoken word.

I seem to hear
Something so clear.

It is in your eyes
And in your smile.

Unspoken, yet there
All the while.

Although sometimes i think i'm just "hearing" the unspoken words because i so wanted it to be said.. ;p

Every word I say, I mean it
Every single day, I feel it

But sometimes when you talk
It’s obvious you want to show it
So don’t blow it

Tell me what we got, tell me it’s a lot tell me it’s the real thing
Tell me not to change and always be the same, tell me that’s a good thing
It’s a good thing
Tell me not to lie, tell me not to wait
Tell me that you want the same things as me
Tell me that it’s fate driving me insane
Tell me it’s the real thing
That keeps me hangin on

I can read the signs between us
I feel it inside when you come nearer
There’s a stillness in the air like no one else is there
And every moment stays in the moment
Yeah

Sometimes it hurts to watch you leave
It feels like you’re taking a part of me with you
I never know how it’ll be
I guess it’s just a mystery
But is it the real thing (that keeps me hangin on)

Tell me what we got, tell me it’s a lot, tell me it’s the real thing
Tell me not to change and always be the same, tell me that’s a good thing
It’s a good thing
Tell me not to lie, tell me not to wait
Tell me that you want the same things as me
Tell me that it’s fate, driving me insane
Tell me it’s the real thing
The real thing…
~ by Bo Bice

Is this the real thing? Ntah ler.. i hope so..

I was visiting a sick family friend yesterday with my parents.. they (the immediate family and some close relatives) were planning to have some baca yassin session for the pakcik and invited us to join in.. i've known them literally my whole life, heck, the makcik was there when i was born..hehe.. anyway, as she was busy preparing for the guests as well as trying to cater to pakcik's needs, she said that she was hoping that her only daughter might be able to come. She lives not that far away, but in actual fact, she is pretty much been cut off from her own family..

You see, the husband is some hot-shot rich guy.. he not only forbid her from wearing any makeup whatso ever (and she's an ex-stewardess at that) or working, she is also not allowed to go out of the house unless accompanied by him or his mother/sister.. and that includes her own parent's house.. duh! and yes, she has tried to get him to compromise/change/understand, but after a while, she has totally given up & decided that she's only living for the sake of her daughter and doesnt care what become of herself anymore.... and now, she can't even come home to visit her sick father!! Her own father, for god-sakes.. masya allah..!! I wonder how one can be such small minded and tak berhati perut langsung.. (disclaimer: tak tau ler pulak kalau they have some valid reason whatsoever for not coming.. but then again, their current living situation have not change as far as i know.. )

You have a daughter of your own, you know.. what if when you are old & sick, she doesnt come back to see you? And so far, you only have one child, at least they have their sons, although that doesn't lessen the pain.. If that happens, i'd say, padan ler muka sendiri.. but then again, one shouldn't wish for such things, right?

Anyway, i wish all the best to the family in this trying times..

***************
Looking at them, it makes me realise that my parents are not as young as they used to be.. in fact, we were on our way back from 'berurut' at a relative's house coz my dad's been having migraine lately.. :o nothing serious of course, but hopefully it will help..

waa.. some kind of baby boom season or something these days? just found out, apart from both my ex-housemates, two of my ex-schoolmates during A-levels also just gave birth..

hmm.. patut terasa ke? hehe.. maybe not.. ahaks..

Just wanna say congrats to my ex-housemate & hubby.. their baby girl was safely delivered early this morning.. alhamdulillah.. will try to drop by SJMC during my lunch hour later..

your true color is Blue!

You're blue — the most soothing shade of the spectrum. The color of a clear summer sky or a deep, reflective ocean, blue has traditionally symbolized trust, solitude, and loyalty. Most likely a thoughtful person who values spending some time on your own, you'd rather connect deeply with a few people than have a bunch of slight acquaintances. Luckily, making close friends isn't that hard, since people are naturally attracted to you — they're soothed by your calming presence. Cool and collected, you rarely overreact. Instead, you think things through before coming to a decision. That level-headed, thoughtful approach to life is patently blue — and patently you!

http://web.tickle.com/rd/50631/

However, lately, i can't seem to maintain a hold on that supposedly 'calmness' of mine.. ;p ntah ler.. my mum said it's coz of that thyroid thingy.. i'd get irritated on the smallest of things.. i know that there's people out there with much much worst problems that mine, but still i dwell too much on my own minuscule issues.. have to remind myself to belajar bersyukur banyak2 :p

be thankful for what you have.. and not think abt what you don't.. right?

Hish.. my transfer is gonna be postponed for at least another 1 1/2 mth.. what la.. what to do? first, they promised me that it would be 1st january.. then due to my manager leaving the company, postponed it to Mar.. then, my boss transferred himself out of the job, leaving me with 2 new managers in charge.. erk! senang nye dia transfer out within 1 week.. kita nie dah 3 bulan, still takde pa per.. hampeh..

now the guy who's suppose to swap jobs with me is leaving the company, so the boss said that he cant afford (read: too scared) to let me go as no one else have my extended (chewah, iye ke?) knowledge of the job.. wah, i'm so flattered la that you love me so much that you wont let me go.. but then again, how long you want me to keep me here? :( dah penat la wey.. i can't exactly be halfway here & halfway there, right?

whatever la.. whenever you think you'll able to make a decision, then tell me.. dah malas nak pikir..

It's not too much for a girl to ask for, is it? I never asked for money or titles or even looks.. all i wanted was for you to love me.. as it is, no one around me does..

Guess it's just my luck.. just when i thought i finally managed to touch my dreams, it shattered to pieces around me..

Takpe la.. aku redha dengan ujian Allah buatku..

Darn it... :(

Had my checkups yesterday & the doc says maybe we shud have cut down on the dosage as per planned abt a month ago.. but during the last checkup, he said my pulse rate was still not stabil enough (ie has not reached the targeted rate at abt 80).. anyway, now he says that maybe my reading last time was a little screwed up, so now looks like my current dosage may be a little too much.. cheh.. now you tell me..!

so no wonder la recently been feeling so fat (I’m sure I havent change much of what I eat lately..i think la).. also been so depressed & having weird mood swings.. sluggish & slow.. thot I was just depress abt my job & abt other stuff plus having my PMS or something.. altho was kinda puzzled as to why i'm so stressed out right now.. guess got my answers for now..

so doc's gonna cut down my medication for the next 2 weeks & i will have to start weighting myself everytime i see him.. hmm.. so does that mean i can't go on a diet? aiyak.. and i've got a wedding to go to next month.. how to lose these weights in the mean time?

uwaa.. help!!

Just Remember
by ~Ang~

When all the weight of the world,
seems to rest on your shoulders alone,

Just remember,
it is because you are strong.

When everyone turns to you,
when their lives are falling apart,

Just remember,
it is because you have cared.

When work pushes you,
until you are on overload,

Just remember,
it is because you are a success.

When family issues arise,
and it is difficult to cope,

Just remember,
it is because you are human.

When everything begins,
to be "just too much",

Just remember,
you can count on me,

to be there,
to remind you,

that you are strong,
caring and successful.

To remind you,
that you are loved.

When the weight of the world,
seems to rest on your shoulders alone,

Just remember, .
it doesn't... you can call on me.

There are days when you think that you can't go on, remember that out there.. there are people who loves you, who cares.. if only we take the time to let them in.. and over the weekend, this fact was proven to me..

It was totally unrelated of course.. my girlfriends just happened to invite me out for lunch at Pyramid just to catch up on things.. i was feeling a little overwhelmed & admittedly, a little let down by someone.. so i wasn't quite my usual self with the girls.. But i forgot.. that these girls are more than just friends to me.. they're my 'other' family.. we've been there for each other's ups & downs, being on the other side of the world from our own families.. and they know me & care for me, more than i realised.. Thanks babes!! Muaahhh!!

And what wonders some bit of loving and a fun outing can do to your spirits.. :D we should spread more love around us, people.. it'll do you good.. !

Oh no..! Bro was just telling me this morning that his company is planning to lay off quite a substantial number of people.. erk..!! surely not?? I mean, sure it was kinda expected with all those rumours going on, but even i wasn't expecting this kind of number... i doubt that he'd be affected, but then again, given the number they plan to layoff, almost no one is indispensible.. ish ish ish.. sabar je la bang ek..

So if anyone know of any positions out there for a senior exec with 7-8yrs experience in flight/operations management... or something along that line.. do tell me me, ya..

Managed to touchdown to KLIA just before 9am yesterday.. Alhamdullilah..!!
I'll start with the ending, just to get it out of my system..

I was supposed to be back on the 18th, reaching KLIA on the 19th.. just nice la.. took Monday off, to rest plus settle my car service etc.. aleh2.. on 18th morning, right when we were abt to leave for tawaf wida' (the goodbye tawaf/walking around the kaabah), our group leader called us in for a meeting. Apparently our seats have been cancelled...... huh? what? aaa..!! everyone was like stunned.. he explained that apparently the airline overbook their flight by abt 40 seats, and seeing that there's on 14 of us (under group booking), they've decide to cancel our ticket for 18th & provided seats for the locals instead.. for what, u might ask? coz these ppl want to come over to KL to watch the F1.. how is that possible, you want to know? when dealing with such people, sorry to say that such things are not rare occurance.. adeh.. how la?? our bag are already waiting in front of the hotel awaiting for us to complete our wida' & for the bus to pick us up la wey..
after lots more phone calls that morning, KL office says that the matter has been settled & that we should head to the airport.. we didnt quite buy it, but lets try anyway.. off we went for the tawaf wida', with chaos minds.. the group leader, who's also the owner of the tourgroup that we went with, his youngest daughter was admitted to hospital earlier that morning...his brother, who's with us needed to be admitted to the hospital due to his advance stage of diabetes (but came with us anyway as a last resort)... the estate manager has to pay his people's salary on monday... the doctor had a surgery scheduled on thursday.. me, you know la, the only reason my phone has not been ringing off the hook is coz i told them i wont have coverage over there (well, plus i can't charge my battery either).. - see how badly all of us had to go home??!!

Anyway, the flight was at 5, & we were still fighting with the airlines guys by 4.. so definitely no chance of that then.. by then, we were told to decide whether to return to Makkah or stay in Jeddah for the confirmation.. we're trying to get the next flight out which was the next evening, but also turned out to be fully booked.. in fact tried to get 4 seats, for the brother+wife & estatemanage+wife.. but was told to wait for the decision.. since we're already staying that the Jeddah hotel under the airline's expenses, even before knowing the turnout for the next day's flight.. and finally told that no one will fly earlier than the 21st, we finally decided to accept our fate.. there's no other flight in between that and luckily, if you can call that, the airline decided to confirm our ticket together with the second group (another 14's initery included staying in Makkah till the 21st). Otherwise, i'd shudder to think about it..

as my mum put it.. maybe god has decided that our group, mostly being professionals and all, had deserved this extra rest, all paid for, after we've completed our umrah & before we start back our hectic lifestyle.. in that case, what can we say, but alhamdullillah...

I'll be leaving for umrah the day after tomorrow..
Doakan i selamat pergi & selamat kembali.. insya allah..

Argghh.. next time remind me NOT to be bridesmaid no more.. :(

Eh, did I tell u that the bride was deaf? So’s the groom, but the groom can read lips & speak a little… but she’s really pretty tho & really2 sweet..

I didn’t go for the akad, although the auntie did invite me.. it was kinda an afterthought type of invitation, and she didn’t really invite my parents either..so.. malas ah.. anyway, apparently, the groom had to write down the lafaz akad, although the tok kadi insist that he also “say” it secara lisan.. in any way, as long as he understands it.. interesting huh.. ?

Anyway, abt those practice2 stuff.. aiyo.. red carpet only goes so far la.. come on la, how big is kelana jaya seafood pun, right?.. dunno why la they are so particular abt it.. the other pengapit wanted to speak/practice 1 last round before the actual one, but coz the bride’s parent tuh so busy asking me to change outfit la, change tudung la.. i didnt really want to wear the original outfit coz it's waay too big on me, but since they insist, whatever la.. the fitters pun so la the stuck up.... in fact, didnt even tell me that there's an extra tudung that I can wear.. last minute finally told me abt it & helped me wear it... cheh..

Anyway.. I don’t mind to help you people out & stuff.. but being a pengapit is meant to be in the background, isnt it? surely not meant to ‘steal the thunder’ from the pengantin right? ni dah la tak sponsor outfit pun nor tell me exactly what u want.. pastuh lagi mau ini, nak itu, tak nak camnie, aiyoo.. namanye menyusahkan org tau !

Flood.. ? yesterday afternoon, as i was abt to have lunch (at an usrah organised by my mum's friends).. he msgd me saying that my area is badly flooded.. huh?

when i left the house on friday, it was raining soo heavily, i was half drenched just trying to get into the taxi.. :( luckily i didnt came down with any fever, given that i was so chilled in the plane.. aiyoo.. wished i had followed mum's advice to always wear socks & proper shoes.. brrr...

anyway, spend sat morning shopping for that cream/gold themed outfit for the 'big' wedding this weekend.. ish.. so la difficult having to comform to specific outfit, i'm only gonna be the 'pengapit'.. it's not like u're getting it for me, you know! ;p but what the heck, a girl could always use another new outfit right?.. ahaks.. managed to find one, altho a little large, the workmanship is pretty good... it is the only size that i could find.. unless the bride's mum would approve any of my other close-enough-to-the-colour-that-she-wants baju kurungs.. ;p so will have to find time later today to get my outfits "approved"...

the rest of the day, of course was spend at Miss.Best.Friend's do.. she had the most gorgeous make-up ever.. hehe.. :D altho, i'd prefer her normal shade of lipstick.. hehe.. but what do i know huh?.. i don't remember meeting much of her extended family, but somehow they all seem to know who i am.. hehe.. how come suddenly so popular one eh? Mr.F intro'd me & my mum to his mum.. as if his mum would know who i am, eh? whatever la ek.. what's important is, the event went pretty smoothly, even tho visitors' were late for the do.. hehe...

back to when i got the msg abt the flood, tried asking bro.. but i guess, since he didnt know i came back to the Island, he just gave me a vague answer.. duh! altho, later i found out that his FIL is in hospital for his heart problem.. ;( already been a week & yet, didnt tell us abt it.. )anyway, since no one wanted to offer to pick me up (as usual la tuh..sob! sob!)... got into the cab.. the driver said to just brave it thru Bt3, i said go ahead la.. it's already almost 7 by then.. so lucky us, the road are already cleared by then, although not the houses.. Alhamdullilah, my place itself was not affected by the flood.. :)

hehe..what la have i've been rambling abt eh? now still so tired.. and i've developed a headache already.. :( i think now would be a good time for me to go face the aunti.. then i can go home & lie down.. :p

Aiyoo.. i think i've chosen myself the wrong career.. It's not joke trying to close every single problem in the whole world... well, in my world anyway.. in 1 day.. (well, even tho you have the whole month to do work..somehow or rather.. the bulk of it always seems to come on the last day of the month.. and usually after lunch.. :o )

anyway.. on more cheerful thoughts.. i need to get to the end of this meeting asap & rush home.. my cab's coming at 15 to 7.. (which btw, they've been over efficient & came this morning instead.. heheh..) & i'll be flying to the Island for the big DO over at Miss.Best.Friend.. can't wait.. ! :D Also, will need to start packing for my big trip next month.. so will be hauling back those stuff back to KL with me for the final packing.. hmm, speaking of that, i so need to get some new shoes for the trip.. can't be wearing my pink beach slippers over to where i'm going.. pangkor bolehla..

allright.. meeting's over.. (yes, i am being naughty & trying to type this during my call..hehe).. so now i can leave.. i hope..

have a good weekend y'all... !

There's so many things that i've thought of writing down.. but somehow when i do have the chance to do so, nothing comes to mind.. ;p anyway, when it comes to me, then i'll write it.. hehe..

I've yet to confirm what i'll be wearing next weekend.. a friend of my mum's requested that i be her daughter's bridesmade.. i guess so.. anyway, the thing is all my weekends are full booked, for now anyway..hehe.. so havent had much chance to really talk to the auntie abt what she wants me to do.. just had my teambuilding thingy last weekend at Bukit Tinggi.. which after 2 days of "main air", i'm lucky i havent came down with a fever.. (the head did feel a little hot tho.. ). Well, i sure do not want to get sick now of all times.. i've got Miss.Best.Friend's do this weekend.. and that wedding thingy next weekend.. and then i'm off for a hols for 2 weeks.. yeay.. can't wait!

however, with all these plans laid out, that means i'll be missing 2 of my friends' wedding.. :( and i so wanted to go that ex-schoolmate of mine.. i havent seen her since i left form 6.. waayyy wayy back then.. darn it.. takpe la..

erk.. i better be leaving soon.. i already have to be in office tommorow nite for a call.. and i still havent packed nor call a cab yet for friday.. and i so need to mop my floors, so darn dirty.. hmm, the perils of living on your own - no one to clean your mess for you! :(

i know..i know.. there's so much arguments whether we should or should not celebrate v-day.. for me, even though i've never actually celebrated the day before, i still think that the days simbolised something special.. doesnt have to be this specific day of course that you show your loved to those dearest to you, but i guess it does help provide some ideas, esp to those who dont usually show much affection to their love ones on other days.. hehe..

Love means to commit oneself without guarantee, to give oneself completely in the hope that our love will produce love in the loved person. Love is an act of faith, and whoever is of little faith is also of little love. ~ by Erich Fromm ~

ada ke patut... yesterday I went to this appreciation lunch at this Chinese restaurant in one of the hotels near The Office..and my colleagues didnt tell me that the soup had sharks fin?!? aiyoo... Well, it was supposed to be that black chicken broth with herbs or something.. so the sharks fin (skit je) was part of the herbs stuff.. btw fyi, I cannot take sharks fin – ada pantang.. (it's a looongg story..).. anyway, didnt expect the "chicken" soup to contain sharks fin..

also, guess what else was part of the herbs? Seahorse! Eek..! and it's 'whole' lak tuh (they said that it was the dried stuff).. ish ish.. luckily the soup was barely in my mouth when they told me abt the sharks fin, so terus tak jadi makan.. and that was before we found the seahorse thingy.. :p euww! happened to be that our table had only 1 chinese girl, as compared to the other table where most of them were chinese... so our table had a pretty hilarious lunch as everyone kept poking at that seahorse (yeah, the guys pulled it out of the soup & sort of tried to pushed it under that rotating or whatever u called that rotating thingy on top of the table )... & also kept checking whether the rest of the dishes had any other "interesting" ingredient.. (we do suspect that someone in the other table did eat the seahorse, but no one really wanted to ask abt it.. hehe).. luckily there's none, but given the slow service that we had, everyone (in my table that is..) pretty much gave up after the 3rd dish..heheh..

Anyway, just to end the story, most the table-members did finish up the soup in their bowl, altho no one wanted to take any second helpings.. hehe.. nor did anyone took 'anything' other than the soup ie the chicken/herbs/etc.. yours truly totally set the bowl aside, untouched.. heheh.. karang tak pasal ler if i had it.. aiyoo.. minta simpang byk2..

It doesn't interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.

It doesn't interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dreams, for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the center of your sorrow, if you have been opened by life's betrayals, or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain! I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine and your own, without moving to hide it or fade it or fix it. I want to know if you can be with JOY, mine or your own: if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, to be realistic, or to remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself: if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul. I want to know if you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy. I want to know if you can see beauty even when it is not pretty everyday, and if you can source your life from its presence. I want to know if you can live with failure, yours or mine, and still stand on the edge of a lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, "Yes" !

It doesn't interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done for the children.

It doesn't interest me who you are, or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back.

It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you from the inside when all else falls away. I want to know if you can be alone with yourself, and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.

Source: From Dreams of Desire, Published by Mountain Dreaming, Toronto, Ontario Canada
Author: Oriah Mountain Dreamer

I just heard that a (ex)neighbour of mine just gotten a divorce.. i'm not really that close to him, nor his sister who is my age, but we knew each other somewhat.. he got married in 2003 and his baby girl is abt my nephew's age, 1+. well, i dont exactly know what to say, except that.. kesian kat anak dia..

Why is it that marriage these days dont seem to last? How is it that our parents.. and their parents managed to live together, even still love each other, after 30-40 years..? What is so different between then and now? I still have yet crossed that line into marriage yet.. but hey, you hear stories like this & it freaks you out, you know..

Ntah le..

"I think people that have a brother or sister don't realize how lucky they are. Sure, they fight a lot, but to know that there's always somebody there, somebody that's family."

--Trey Parker and Matt
Stone, South Park, Cat Orgy, 1999

I taste like Bread. I am a staple in almost everyone's diet. Friends like me are a complement to any other friends I get on with almost everyone, remaining mostly in the background, but providing substance when it would otherwise be lacking. What Flavour Are You?

Don't you find it irritating that people always assume the worst about you.. ? For example, people always thinks that overseas student are such loose people, partying all nite and such.. as well as the other extreme, joining those cult-like religious groups and whatnots.. i mean, sure, there were people like that there.. and some of them, i might or might not know them personally. But doesnt mean that i have to be like that.. so don't la be so surprised that i'm not.. there was..are a lot of "normal" people, like you and me, who did study overseas, and stayed as they are.. not everyone ended up with a "cultural shock", you know.. altho i have to admit that i had a "cultural shock" coming back to Malaysia.. heheh.. will save that for another time..

****

Best betul Mdm.KS.. already her husband had the morning sickness instead of her.. due to being induced, she had a pretty speedy delivery, abt 1 hr je... by the time we went to visit her, she definitely did not look like she had just given birth a few hours earlier..hehe.. berkat doa husband & family kot.. alhamdullilah..

Congrats to Mdm.KS & hubby..!! She safely gave birth to a baby boy, at noon in Pantai.

Is it possible to fall for someone you've met for the first time? I personally dont believe in that.. i guess you can really really like someone.. but fall in love? agree to marry that person immediately? dunno la..

maybe i'm cynical.. maybe it's just coz i'm a complex person and it's difficult for me to get close to someone (and vice versa).. it's not easy for me you know, to go out with perfect strangers, whom other people deems to be suitable for me.. sure, i'm single and all, but at the same time, i'm not about to say yes to any tom, dick or harry that comes along, just for the sake of getting married :( if that was the case, i doubt i'd still be single now, no? marriage is a big thing.. you cannot expect a girl to make a decision after a few phone calls & 1 meeting?? at least not this girl anyway.. hehe

i dont want to be married becaused it is expected of me, because everyone else is already married & i'm not, because other people say that he's a decent enough of a guy.. i'm not saying he's not, coz i'm sure he is.. i'm just saying that i dont think he's the guy for me.. i do feel a little guilty abt not giving the guy a chance.. maybe i should have.. but even from the start i didnt feel right abt it.. maybe coz i've got someone else in mind.. maybe i'm just not ready.. maybe just coz i hate being rushed.. but i'm just trying to go with my gut feeling on this.. and given how serious this guy abt looking for a wife, i doubt i can go with the "why dont we just be friends for now" line.. (been thru that before, believe me.. it doesnt work..)

On the other hand, just coz i like someone, doesnt mean that it will work out.. i'm afraid to hope for too much, i guess.. or maybe i think too much with my head, instead of my heart.. ntah le.. kalau ada jodoh tuh ada la..



******
To Miss.Best.Friend..

Honey... i'm soooo happy for you.. Glad i was there when it happened.. Girl, you are so lucky.. or rather he is lucky to have you.. heheh.. Also thanks a lot, to both of you for making last weekend a great one.. hehe.. we'll see what's the outcome ek.. you better make sure i'm around when you finally set your date, k.. ahaks..

You gave me a wink,
And smiled your smile.
At that moment,
My heart just floated away.

I like you,
And I think you like me.
If you didn't,
Why would you want to get together?

In my eyes,
You are sweet.
In my eyes,
You are you.

Maybe it will work out,
Maybe it won't.
Only time will tell.
But I will always care for you.

By Chole(http://www.netpoets.com/poems/love/1254002.htm)

http://postsecret.blogspot.com/

Yeay.. tomorrow i'll be going to Pangkor with Miss.Best.Friend & geng.. even tho this is gonna be a pretty short trip, but a trip nonetheless.. hehe.. nampak sgt dah lama tak cuti.. Hopefully it's gonna be a good one, given the group of people who's going.. will tell all once i'm back..

*****
Was talking to Mdm.KS yesterday.. how sad is it that i only know abt friend's news & updates thru their blogs? very, isnt it? hehe.. otherwise, given how "often" i 'dont call, let alone meet up with them, blogs do help a lot.. hehe.. god, what have technology turned us into?? :o so have to try to make more effort this year to meet up with people.. One way is to try to meet up with Mdm.KS on her turf for a change, since i'm crashing over at Miss.Best.Friend's crib tonite.. it still have ceased to surprised me that somehow my friends ended up in the same place.. hehe.. good for me tho, sekali harung je... haha.. Anyway, this would probably be the last time i see Mdm.KS before the delivery.. so hopefully the next time, i'll be seeing you & the little one..

*****
On other news.. Parents dearest are seriously thinking of leaving The Island & move here.. have not made the final decisions just yet.. but then, we have been thinking about it for a while.. on the details, still on the sketchy side but i think we're on to something already.. will see how this goes.. but wont be in anytime soon though..


*****
Was reading abt this senator who got fined over sms divorce.. i think the judge made a pretty good comment.. judge Zainor Rashid Hassin said: ”When you marry someone, you are to go through all the processes like merisik, bertunang, bernikah and bersanding. Now, why can’t you divorce someone properly as well.” I mean, if you really want to end it, go la face the person & say it upfront (or at least thru someone u trust).. duh... besides why on earth la would u want to do this thru sms? some people can be so weird..


erk.. already late.. i better leave now before anyone catches me for more work stuff.. ciao..

You're a smart guy.. i'm sure you've figured out by now why we stay away from you... Why we turned a blind eye to whatever she does.. why we accept whatever excuse you guys cooked up for us, no matter how crappy it is..
you realised now how much it hurts her.. and sadly, you now realised that you cannot do anything abt it..

At least before you were far away, we can still kid ourselves that it didnt matter.. but now that you're just a stone throw away.. so near yet so far.. and it hurts even more.. think for yourselves what you need to do now..

Lilue took the free ColorQuiz.com personality test! "Intense, vital, and animated, taking a delight in ..." Click here to read the rest of the results.

Your Existing Situation
Imaginative and sensitive; seeking an outlet for these qualities--especially in the company of someone equally sensitive. Interest and enthusiasm are readily aroused by the unusual or the adventurous.
Yeah right.. more like a magnet to weirdos that is..

Your Stress Sources
Has an unsatisfied need to ally herself with others whose standards are as high as her own, and to stand out from the herd. This desire for preeminence isolates her and inhibits her readiness to give herself freely. While she wants to surrender and let herself go, she regards this as a weakness which must be resisted. This self-restraint, she feels, will lift her above the rank and file and ensure recognition as a unique and distinctive personality.

Your Restrained Characteristics
Willing to participate and to allow herself to become involved, but tries to fend off conflict and disturbance in order to reduce tension.
Remains emotionally unattached even when involved in a close relationship.
Circumstances are forcing her to compromise, to restrain her demands and hopes, and to forgo for the time being some of the things she wants.

Your Desired Objective
Intense, vital, and animated, taking a delight in action. Activity is directed towards success or conquest and there is a desire to live life to the fullest.

Your Actual Problem
Takes a delight in action and wants to be respected and esteemed for her personal accomplishments.

I was out with the adventurous two, mdm KS_girl & hubby last weekend.. aiyo.. mem, you're already ready for maternity leave end of this month, still wanna go berkelah ke? luckily the spot we chose doesnt allow her to get close to the river, so no worries there la.. and lucky for us, it only started raining on our way back.. considering that we started a bit later than planned due to the unexpected car trouble.. had to get my car towed to Glenmarie..

had been awhile since i've done such outdoorsy stuff.. the last one was during one of our office team building thingy, but given the company & the trekking we had to do to get to the place, not quite as exciting.. anyway, we had fun.. Ms.Comic Book brought her bro along.. we bbq'ed some food.. basically hang out.. pretty relaxing..

Looking at the adventurous two, i sometimes wondered.. how lucky they are to have found each other.. i mean, how do you make 2 people from different families, different locations, different ..etc, well, together.. ? i get the concept, but realising it is like..so difficult..

1. Do not walk behind me for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me for the path is narrow. In fact just fck off and leave me alone.

2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a flat tire.

3. The darkest hour is just before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's paper, that's the time to do it.

4. Sex is like air. It's not important unless you aren't getting any.

5. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

6. No one is listening until you fart.

7. Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else.

8. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

9. If you think nobody cares whether you're alive or dead, try missing a couple of mortgage payments.

10. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes.
That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

11. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

12. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

13. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

14. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

15. Some days you are the bug; some days you are the windshield.

16. Don't worry; it only seems kinky the first time.

17. Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

18. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.

19. A closed mouth gathers no foot.

20. Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side and a dark side,and it holds the universe together.

21. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.

22. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.

23. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

Someone will always be prettier.
They will always be smarter.
Their house will be bigger.
They will drive a better car.
Their children will do better in school.
Their husband will fix more things around the house.

So let it go, and love you and your circumstances.
Think about it.....
The prettiest woman in the world can have hell in her heart.
The most highly favored woman on your job may be unable to have children.
The richest woman you know -- she's got the car, the house, the clothes-- might be lonely.

So.......love you. Love who you are right now. Tell yourself "I am too blessed to be stressed." Be blessed ladies and pass this on to encourage another woman.

"To the world you might be one person, but to one person you just might be the world".


Send this to all of the wonderful women you know....I just did.


"LeArN Fr0m YeStErDaY, LivE FoR T0DaY, HoPe FoR T0m0rRoW"