Princess Lilue

Yesterday i had flu almost the whole day (was really acting up in the afternoon though) & feeling slightly feverish, plus headache. My carpool-buddy had adviced me last nite to take the day off & totally ignore any calls from the office. This morning when i woke up, was feeling better, although a slightly heavy head. However I decided to follow her advice anyway & took the day off (although i did check the email in the morning on my staff's behalf coz he's in training for the day).

After a late breakfast in the morning & washing the clothes, i resorted to my korean drama & books and totally ignored the screaming in my head about my work. It's 2pm now & i realised that i really needed the break from the office. Even though i just came back from Raya Korban leave last week, i was working for 2 out of my 3-day break. plus was worrying over work during the weekend (even if i didnt login at all it was still looming over my head).

You can call me irresponsible or lazy to skip work like this, but i was getting too stressed over work & i'm one of those who cant handle it. I guess my stress level is probably different than others, but regardless, when i'm stress, my instict is to not want to do it & run away. I dont really see a way at the moment how to overcome this, but i probably just need to tell off these people & say that i have my limits & that if you dont like, tough. go get another person to do it then. either that or i will totally blow up or go insane (not literally of course).

sigh.. i really need to curb this feeling of wanting to run away when problem comes. i am so not cut out for this rat race & over-competition lifestyle. i'm much more of a loner, who prefers her books & puzzles to fanning some people's backside. sooo not me okay.. i have no time nor patience to bother about meeting other people's expectation or climbing some corporate ladder. i work coz i like to work. but not for people nor money nor glory whatnots.. like what Yeorim from Sungkhunkwan Scandal likes to say: "I'm no one's man. I'll stay only if you can keep me entertained."



p/s: i got an early birthday present. A water bottle that says:

"STRESSED.ANGRY.MAD.Deal with it"

how apt. But it also says:

take it easy
1. take a deep breath
2. write down your feeling

so this is what i'm doing now, writing down my own "upset journal".......
ada la lagi, tapi tak berkaitan.. hehe..