Princess Lilue

Here i am, in Singapore, on a Saturday, at 5.30pm, - still working while almost everyone else around the world is on hols ? go figure..

Anyway, hopefully will be able to leave before 7pm.. and probably start off tomorrow a bit later.. (yes, i am also working tomorrow..sob!sob!).. that way i'd be able to check out Mandarin's pool.. hehe.. that is if i can wake up early enuff.. hehe.. depending on what's on tonite..

Anyway.. this year has been a pretty hectic & busy, work-wise..oh how time fly so fast... on personal-count, absolute failure in own personal life..haha.. although i'm still hopeful in the coming year..

Next year - well, already have a few major events coming up.. job rotation (if it ever happens..at this rate..), a friend's engagement (whenever u fix the date, girlfriend..just let me know.. hehe)... bro moving nearer to my place.. hmm.. dont know yet whether this will be for better or for worse..

Speaking abt my bro, his son was so sweet.. the other day when my parents & i was visiting him at the new place, he was being his cranky self due to his fever.. again.. but he cant keep his cool for that long.. haha.. wasnt long before he was happily playing with mum.. at one point, he got fascinated with my phone & the game i was playing.. (yelah, dah dia buat sombong kat kita in the 1st place tuh, kita gi la buat something else, like playing the game on the phone..hehe).. he ended up soo engrossed in the game, that he started leaning on me and practically lying on top of me.. alahai comel nye.. hehe.. and this is from this kid, who everytime we meet, sure put on airs & wont let go of his papa.. apa la.. so the drama queen one la this boy.. hehe.. this morning pun, had to like wave like a mad person to him before i got into my cab, before he would flash that winning smile of his .. mahal gile senyum nye tuh.. hehe..

okla.. already rambling nonsense dah nie.. so need to get out of here.. hehe.. mana pulak minah nie gie? tadi kata nak gie tengok shipment dah kuar belum je..

So HAPPY NEW YEAR to all!!

Happy Birthday to me..
Happy Birthday to me..
Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday..
Happy Birthday to me.....................

Ahaks.. finally, i'm .. 27! erk.. cam tak caya je.. hehe..

It's 2 more days from my birthday & i've already started my celebration over the weekend.. hehe..

a couple of my girlfriends came over for an early celebration, plus, one of them also just had her birthday on friday.. kira celebrate sekali la.. which of course gave me the perfect reason to avoid a particular event which i didnt really wanna go.. ahaks.. thank you soo much gals..!! with friends like you, i can take on the world.. hehe, or rather forget my woes.. i so need to make sure i make more time to meet up with my girlfriends as part of my new year resolution. Plus while both of them are around in KL & still unattached.. hehe..

something which also happened over the weekend made me realised, just how long it has been since i went out on dates..(not that i do go out that often before tho..& with not-so-many-guys either.. hehe).. heck, i've almost forgotten how it's like.. terrible huh?

This morning itself has brought on 2 early surprises for me.. one was a birthday msg from an old friend.. I havent heard from Mr.Italy for so long, since his marriage last year.. could it be that my theory has been proven to be correct? hehe..i have this theory (which like i said, is my own warped sense of theory on my lovelife) that, of all the guys that i've known (and i mean those who were "more than friends"), they'd be the one who'd leave.. yet, they always came back.. god knows la what exactly they expect from me by doing so, but somehow, they do.. which always puts me in an arkward position, given that they almost always do not include their other-halfs when doing so..

The other one was a call from someone regarding potential Mr.Right.. or so they tell me la.. ahaks.. well, i guess no harm in getting to know someone new.. but why la you guys always come in droves? it has happened before & look where it got me.. absolutely nowhere.. that's why you girls out there should not be like me...ahaks.. dah la tak reti go out with more than 1 guy at a time and plain tak reti go out with people.. i'm such a lost case.. hehe..

but otherwise you'll never hear the end of it.. typical la kan, here i am, almost 27, still single & not seeing anyone, which somehow violates all the rules of the social norm.. not that i mind that much, but the lack of non-couple friends & lack of couple-doom topics (which includes wedding stuff/baby/in-laws/other-half kinda stories) do get to you sometimes...

well, will see what else is in store for the rest of the week.. still have my dinner plans (which dont even know whether we can make it for this week) with Miss.Best.Friend.. wished that a certain someone would do something, however insignificant for the big day, but doubt that that person even knows abt it.. ;p

i know i've got to let go of this.. i suppose, feeling of 'anger'..
it's not like my anger is directed to anything or anyone in specific..
it's just in general..
it's just is..
Maybe it's just the sideeffect of my illness..
Maybe it's was from those incidents..
Maybe it's just... me.

dunno la..

ergh.. there are things that i wanted to purge out of my system, but currently - otak tengah berserabut... so will try to sort that one out.. somehow..

btw, my colleague, who like me, tgh kemaruk nak change our phone.. (hehe.. i know..i know.. not exactly a priority item to splurge on right now.. but i soo la want one.. read that again-want, not need..hehe) managed to got us a pretty good deal on a Sony W550 (i think that is the right model name..) if we pay cash... which is not bad, considering the market price is abt 200+ higher..

i'm actually eyeing the other model, W880 (ok..so i can't exactly remember the model's name..so sue me.. u can go find out yourself, it's that bright orange coloured one...hehe), but that is like soo out of my budget.. come on la.. to spend more than 1/2 of my hard-earned monthly pay on some credit card sized gadget? so very very tempting & i so so want to do so, but the practical side of me is screaming no way... susah jugak being practical nie ek.. haha..

anyway, i'm gonna sleep on it & decide tomorow..but if i can save 200 on that one, then i can buy my dad a new phone too, huh? but then i'd still have to fork out the money, which i didnt have to, in the first place..

hmm..decisions..decisions.. so hard to do.. :p

Talking abt my friend who's getting married this weekend..hmm where to start ya? hehe.. he's pretty much been 'somewhere around in my life', since the start of us, the ptuk12 scholars..hehe.. and i'll see him almost every hols during a-levels (since our school has the same hols every time.. *rolling eyes*...).. he used to send me crazy mails during a-levels (yes, those written & stamped types you know..)... he's forever cracking jokes, telling stories and so darn observant, it's like i can never keep any secrets from him.. haha..

One of the best birthday that i've had was during my trip to his uni, during my 2nd year i think.. me & a bunch of friends, all from various parts of uk, decided to spend christmas hols in scotland (since nearly all of his batch of malaysian uni-mates are close friends of mine anyway)..

as per usual, being it was winter time & fasting month.. we pretty much stayed up all nite & slept in all day.. hehe.. everyday, we'd have to pull & push each other out the door, to actually go & visit the sites & other towns around their uni.. in fact we almost forgotten to keep track of the days & ended having a tour of an almost empty town coz everyone else is out celebrating christmas.. hehe..

The girls threw me a surprise party for my birthday with cakes & lotsa food and such, which btw, i didn't expected half of them to remember.. hehe.. Anyway, he couldn't make it to the party coz he was on his way back from london.. but the truth was, he has already bought me a cake (a 2nd cake) & planned his trip to arrive in time to throw me a surprise party himself (he didnt know abt the girls' party) but got caught coz his train got delayed.. mind you, this is one guy that i know of, who'd always remember everyone's birthday & he has never forgotten to send me a card every year since the start of a-levels till i graduated.. so the next day, the guys invited us to hang out at their place & (he) threw me a(another) surprise party.., by the guys this time he says... it was the sweetest thing anyone ever done for me.. aww..

dont get me wrong tho.. even though i'd say that we've been pretty close, it's not like we share that much time together nor tell each other personal stuff and such.. but i do know that he's a very good friend whom i can rely on.. heck, i could even crashed over at his place, at a short notice at that, with my parents in tow when we wanted to go a tour of scotland.. haha..

dont la ask how come we never ended up together if we're such "good friends".. i guess it our friendship was never that way & not meant to be.. i'm happy for him tho & wish him all the best.. and hopefully we'll get to stay as friends..as it is, since i got back to malaysia, had barely managed to keep in touch with him, since he lack access to emails..dahla, never calls lak tuh when he is in malaysia..dah nak balik sana, baru cakap.. so, will see la how 'grand' the wedding will be on both side this weekend..

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If your friend is the bride.. and she invited you to go to the bridegroom's kenduri.. is it appropriate to go? considering that you dont know the guy, nor anyone else (from his side) for that matter.. hmm.. good question really... but then again, for most of my friend's wedding, i didnt know anyone but for the said friend, which is a problem when that particular person happened to be in the middle of their "acara bersanding" or something.. even worst, when you go to such kenduri on your own.. so have to reconsider going to Miss.Dot's (or madam now) KL reception..

btw..wey, sapa nak ikut i gie kenduri budak2 tuh this weekend?? jomla!!

They say that you can't choose who you're related to; that's why God created friends..

I tried to stay away from you people, knowing just how much you dont like me.. but i dont know, i must have some kind of power or something over you people.. you just cant stay away can you? It's really getting irritating having to put up with your petty comments, acting like we're such bosom buddies when i know that you'd be talking behind my back anyway.. so kampung one, you know.. but i know that i can't get rid of you.. i know that i can't retaliate back because that would just be exactly what you want.. and i am trying to just let it slide, but i'm tired of being the target here..and at some point, i'm just going to blow coz i'm no angel either....so god just please provide me the strengh to have patience with these people.. let me be able to close my eyes & ears (& hopefully my heart) to whatever that they do/say, in order the preserve this very fragile thread of connection between us..

luckily i do have other people to fall back onto.. other people whom i've chose to associate myself with.. who knows me.. who (i hope) truly cares abt me..


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btw, bro already gotten his keys to the apartment, which is opposite my house..so no definite plans as yet when they'll be moving. but i guess should be soon.. apparently my cousin's fiancee also bought an apartment at the same place, but in a different block..i guess will be moving in after their wedding this x-mas..

another note: i've completed my 4000-pieces jigsaw puzzle.. yeay!! now all i have to do is figure out what to do with it? was hoping to be able to frame it up & hang it.. any ideas how? hehe..

ish.. tadi cam banyak je benda nak tulih but takde masa.. now dah ada depan nie, mind is totally blank la pulak.. ;p

tomorrow will be Miss.Dot's wedding reception.. however since it's gonna be in Kedah, decided that i'm not able to make it all the way..will have to make sure that i make it to her KL reception, which ntah la bila.. cheh, dah la i already missed her engagement ceremony arituh..

Apart from Miss.Best.Friend, she's one of my friend whom i've known the longest.. in fact, i knew her before Miss.Best.Friend.. both of us met on our 1st day of Primary 5 at school, waiting to be assigned to our new classes. Her parents are my parent's friends and they just got back from the states then. Over the years, we stayed pretty much in-touch, more so thru our parents rather than on our own (well, she's not much of a letter/mail-writer..). Had thought that i'd probably be the one to beat her down the aisle, but guess fate didnt planned it that way.. hehe..

Next week another friend is also getting married..

will cont. next time.. already getting a headache - they're telling me that i have to work on Monday (it's a public holiday to those who dont know..)..darn it!!! takde keje lain ke diorg nie???? citt!!

A friend of mine from uni, just moved to my neighbourhood last weekend.. So last nite, with another couple of friends, arranged to meet up with her & her husband (& son), at their newly opened shop nearby.. Have to say i'm surprised that they chosed my area since previously they were on the other side of town.. and since i have not seen her since the birth of her son, had quite a lot to catch up with..

As much as i love this friend of mine to bits, she so-la do not have any sense of direction.. no wonder her husband pun tak kasi dia bawa kete.. haha.. buat penat je going round & round the place looking for her house.. her house is just down my road!! Can almost see it from my house lagi.... ler... well, at least she should be able to walk over to my place, if the husband is not around to send her.. hehe..

Looking at the 2 couples with me last nite (whereby 3 of them were from my uni).. just realised something.. it's been 4 years since we've left uni & United Kingdom..(has it really been that long? ;p) we've changed so much & yet, not at all.. ! Mdm.Neighbour is still her blurry self, while Miss.HighFlyer busy gelakkan Mdm.Neighbour's blurness the whole time we were having dinner..plus Mr.Serious as usual, cant help being concern abt his friends.. haha..

well, looking back, each of us have come a long way from those carefree, video-marathon nights, girly night sessions (us 3 girls je la of course..ish), & god-know what else we got ourselves into during our uni-days, to this day tonite.. hehe.. how fast time flies huh? Mdm.Neighbour already has a 15-months-old son... Miss.HighFlyer already in a managerial post in a new job... me? ntah le.. these days i have to ask myself that question again

Loneliness and dependence
A warrior, when he suffers an injustice, usually tries to be alone - so as not to show his pain to others. It is good and bad behaviour at the same time. One thing is to let his heart heal its own wounds slowly. Another thing is to stay in deep meditation all day, fearful of appearing weak.

Inside each of us is an angel and a demon and their voices are very much alike. Because of that difficulty, the demon nurtures this solitary conversation, trying to show us how we are vulnerable. The angel needs someone’s mouth to express himself.

As quoted from -warriorofthelight.com-