Princess Lilue

I'm so stressed out & i dont even know why. :(




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haih.. susah betul la nak ikut cakap mak...

I'm tired.
Really tired.
Tired of fighting.
Tired of trying to be someone you want.

If given a choice, i think i'd be a hermit. I almost am one these days. Surrounded by my books & the net is enough for me.

People are too hard to get along with. People dont get me, i dont get them.

I'm happy being me. Even if it means i have more enemies than friends. I still dont get why, it's not like i'm bugging anyone's life, is it? At most, i'm wasting my life, not yours. Stop expecting too much out of me.





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Wings by Aprilynne Pike

My rating: 4 of 5 stars


I'm pleasantly surprised that i like this book. I started reading Wicked Lovely, but it wasnt quite as intesting to me. Could be because the language is too teen-lingo? maybe.



It started with Laurel's first day at school after years of homeschooling. She's always been different, but never gave it much thought. She met David, a friendly classmate who's into science. She woke up one morning with a bump on her back, which turned out to be a wing-like flower and resulted in the revelation that she is actually a plant/faerie. With the help of a male-faerie, Tamani, she learned about her background & how she ended up being adopted by humans.



I liked the flow of the story & also how the author weaved in the love-triangle. However, i still ca3nt imagine the wing-like flower, which wilted after a period & the whole faerie-world yet. Maybe the next book will bring some light on it.





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i know i have no particular ambition that i aimed for.
i just want to be good in what i do.
i just want to like what i do.
regardless of the pay, although high pay is good.

right now, i totally am NOT into my job.
i'm not sure if it's my boss.
or it's the business.
or just the tasks itself.
Company's not too bad, most of the time.

i can cope with most things.
but when i hate what i do....
then i just cant continue..
i cant do it..

u can say that i cant handle stress..
although my stress level is most likely higher than lots of others...

but for me to leave..
i doubt if i can get the same pay as now...
market out there are not that great..
some managerial roles out there are even lower than my current pay..
altho, they also only mostly asking for someone with abt 5 years' experience or so..

but one thing i've learned..
it's no fun & games being in managerial post..
plus you've got people reporting to you..
doing your own job is easy enough..
but to manage others?? headache!!

plus i so do not want any job that revolved around closing..
be it if i do not perform, but managing others who do,..
i'd have to also be available during closing..
eek.. tak nak... !!

throughout 2010, i not only did NOT take any of my annual leave..
i was also working throughout public holidays, weekends and burning the midnight oil during quarter closing..
i've only been doing this for abt 3 quarters, include 1st time performing year end..
i'm ready to give up..
i have absolutely no idea how the others do this day in and day out, for years :(

so i want to go travel this year.. ottokae? how to do so? i have the money (err, i think it's enough.. keke) but i havent got the time.. help!!
the company cant stop me from going right???

is it wrong for me to want some me-time? i do want to go back & be with my family, dont get me wrong. but i also want some time for myself. not that i actually do anything specific in particular, but still. why do i feel guilty then??