Princess Lilue

I've got too much going on in my head.. yet no idea where to start..

The month started off with a large scale audit by the corporate team.. which i totally screw up on my part.. :( well, i'm only human okay.. doesnt help that most of last year i was totally overwhelmed with own problems to really concentrate on things like filing and stuff..

at least, for one thing it does tell the bosses that 1 person really cannot handle all these responsibility & control everything..or do they even get it?? hmm.. seems to me that even more work is asked from you as a result.. ;( i suppose it's just excuses really, but.. i don't know.. either i don't know how to do my job or i'm doing too much.. it's just that it's really2 frustrating when i see myself not being able to do the job..

at least the boss is still giving me my bonuses (which have not been banked in yet).. hehe.. this would definitely help pay off the graduation tickets for my guests this weekend.. *wink*

anyway, on the matters of the heart.. hmm.. how do i say it? my mind is currently in a total mess & the truth is.. i don't know what it is that i feel these days.. and i supposed that it's not fair to some ppl.. it has been long enough that i've been creating this cocoon around myself, shutting myself at home & partly, shutting out my friends too..

i'd suposed i'd be more cynical but that's just not in me.. i still believe in dreams.. that there are good in people.. that i don't have to try so hard to be happy.. that they didn't mean that they hate me & sorry for what they did.. that maybe, maybe he truly did love me.. that we could still make it work.. oh well, it's all only in my dream.. i should really learn to love another, right?