Princess Lilue

my friend wanted to introduce someone to me.. which i thot, why not?.. however, when the guy did call.. even tho i was expecting it, i never expected to be... hmm, not sure how to describe it.. the thoughts that kept running across my head was - why am i talking to this guy instead of him? I'm dissapointed.. i'm sad.. i'm angry.. part of me wanted it to be him so much.. but part of me do not want to see or talk to him ever.. also, nothing against the new guy, i'm sure he's nice & all.. but somehow i'm not interested.. i know i should make up my mind, esp after such a short conversation, but i'm sorry... it just not right..

my best friend told me that i should let him control my life anymore.. i cant help but compare other guys to him.. i cant help sometimes that i wished i'd stay.. now i know why some women stay in after the love have gone .. its so difficult to let go.. but i dont regret the decision that i have made.. yes, it hurts to be without him, yet it hurts much more when i'm with him.. and now, the hurt is slowly going away..

nope, i dont think i'd pursue it with this guy.. not that i wouldnt want to give anyone a chance.. but this new guy is being a little too desprate for my taste.. i mean sure, i'd be friends with you.. but after 1 call, i wouldnt expect you to call every day, & even during working hours.. of course if it's him, it's a different story, but even he wouldnt call me at the office before say..5pm or if he wanted something like, we're going somewhere that nite etc..

what the heck..? i had a life of my own before him.. i can live on my own after him.. whether there'll be someone special in my life or not, i'm strong enough to go on with my life.. on my own terms..