Princess Lilue

Erk.. had the scariest/weirdest dream last nite.. probably my fault as well, coz trying to watch a scary movie (Jangan Pandang Belakang) on Astro last nite.. watched it for abt 20mins, then thought i better not continue.. hehe.. karang sendiri takut, sapa nak tolong? ahaks..

Anyway, back to the dream.. i guess i was PD (since it's just been a couple of weeks back when i went there with my colleagues) or somewhere near a beach & some trees.. guess something happened, or some accident of sort, whereby me & 2 others got err.. killed kot.. and in a "Ghost Whisperer" style, my "ghost" went to search for my ex-colleague, trying to tell them what had happened to me..

I'm not the type to dwell on deathly matters, so the dream was kinda of an odd topic for me.. but then i could have been thinking abt those influx of local & foreign horror movies lately.. plus, i have heard some interesting ghost stories over lunch recently too.. hehe..

however, what i'm trying to really reflect upon is, how much do we really ponder over death.. people do say nothing clears your priority like death flashing across your mind.. and i was just thinking that if i die today, i don't think i have enough to carry me into the afterlife.. i mean, sure i try not to miss my prayers, i fast every now & then (other than ramadhan), i basically try to follow the rules.. but at times, i'm not sure if i'm truly there.. i dont dress properly e.g i still do the 3/4 sleeves & fitting clothes, my scarves are not always proper..i dont always check that my food are (truly) halal (ie i take for granted that it is, given that i live in this country..).. i dont always listen/join the 'ceramah's or religious talks.. i watch way too much tv & listen to too much music.. i dont always listen to my parents.. well, you get the picture..

and to really understand our roles & responsibilities to Allah in this world, well, it can be overwhelmingly scary to realise how far you are from the ideal.. at the end of it, i can only try my best & hope that my "niat"/intention is enough to win me a spot in 'syurga'(heaven)...insya allah...