Princess Lilue

I'm feeling so restless lately. Been playing with my new toy aka the kenwood kmix mixer last weekend so the excitement has cool off somewhat. Hehe.

But I'm thinking of......
doing something.
See something new.
Explore.
Get lost.

Maybe I need a holiday.
Away from day to day life.

I feel like i'm losing control of my life.
Like its spiralling into a very dark hole & i have no idea how to climb out.

I dont know why i feel this way.
I dont know how to shake this feeling off.

What do i do?

Sometimes i feel like running away.
From everything.
From myself.
:(
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2012 is finally over and here comes 2013.

Favourite moments of 2012
Probably attending Big Bang Alive Tour in Stadium Merdeka in October. It was totally awesome!!! not to mention how difficult it was for me to manage to attend it. It was held the day after Aidil Adha, in KL. I told my mum that i wanted to return to KL right after our obligatory makan2, but since my brother & his siblings cant go back, we decided to celebrate it in KL instead. so right after we received that meat, we drove straight to KL and started preparing the house for the next day. i barely sat down from the moment i woke up the next day, until it was time for me to leave for the concert. i even missed a few more guests coz they came after Asar.
At the stadium, seems that some fans had camped there since morning & people kept on coming. We totally couldnt find the gate to our ticket entrance due to the massive people-jam & bad signage. when we finally got to our stand & waiting for the concert to start, it started pouring, heavier by the minute. we were afraid that the organisors might postpone or cancel the concert, but no one moved from their spot, rain or not. sure enough, the moment the curtain dropped, the rain finally stopped & the madness begins. ^_^ To finally being able to see Big Bang live, i almost didnt know where to look trying to follow Ji, Tae, TOP, Dae and VI.

I also managed to go to FT Island's Play earlier in the year. For the first time in my life, i can finally say that there's someone who sounds so so much better live than in recording. And you totally cant tell that Hongki, the lead singer was having flu that night given how active he was jumping through the nite. and his voice still sounds as amazing during the last song, as it was during the first one. It was also the first indoor concert that i've been to recently.

unfortunately i had to back out from attending BAP, although Elly said that they were really good.

Other non-kpop news, we finally have a princess in the house.. the first granddaughter for both sides, 7th's grandchild for my parents, and the first from my cousin's wife side. and yes, she was sitting on my mum's leg. haha..


p/s: i just realised that i didnt make my obligatory birthday post this year. as usual, nothing fancy. just another day at home. Nora came by for tea & chat. had a bunch of non-birthday related presents - christmas pressies and souvenir from my parents' trip to china. Good enough for me, i'm thankful for everything that i have, and all that i dont, for family and friends and that is blessing enough.

I'm not asking for much, right? 
If he can make fun of my job.. the music that i love.. the way i live my life.. 
is this is joke for him? have you no respect for me? 
you may think you're being witty, but i see it as disrespect


If you want to show your love, you'd find out what she loves, what she likes, what she dont like. not make fun of her. this is not kindergarten & we're not 5years old, playing catch. 

aha...

i just realised something....

i can spend hours "mengodek"/ "fiddlying" with my budget/forecast/analysis file...
but i get stressed when i have to do:
- recon work
- transactionional steps.
- trouble shotting copa/system and/or tracing some movement in sap. (somehow i'm still okay with excel)

hmmm.. what does that mean.. hehehe...

Is it possible to be bored working with people?
to not want to work with people?
Isnt there a job that do not require you to deal much with people? stand alone projects maybe?
i dont mind.

Sigh..
People skills, delegations and follow ups are not my strength.
And at the moment, i am not really looking into improving my weaknesses, even though i know i should.

and i also need to work on NOT being so nice.
Gotta be more assertive & "garang".
errr.. how? that is hard...

and there's so much expectations on being a manager.
on leadership.
on proposal for improvements.
on having your input in just about every single projects.
on keeping others on their toes.

sigh. i know its what i need to do it but...


p/s: another thing. i know i need to pick up/understand transactional process/logic, but i really, really dont like it. i dont mind analysing work. but i admit i'm not very good at the nitty, gritty details. i'm not patient enough. :(

Its so difficult sometimes..
When you're at point a & you know you need to get to point b & you can see what point b "looks like".. But you have absolutely no idea how to get from point a to b.

Or maybe its just that i'm not patient enough. :(


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Just my 2 cents worth on the just-finished AJL26:

- totally did not get the "wanita seluruh dunia" & "gadis semasa". It was a bit mumbly & cant quite catch their lyrics for most part.
- somehow "kekanda adinda" didnt have the same kick as it usually does. Sound problems maybe? Same goes to lagu "kalau berpacaran", suhaimi & altimet did good, ana was a lil off.
- faizal tahir didnt rock it like usual either. And the gimic was getting a lil old.
- 3 suara, although was good, i also think they didnt push it to become great. Well, at least to my tone deaf ears, i thought they could have done better. But yeah, vocally they were outstanding. Still, jac couldnt replace anuar zain. Nope.
- aizat & of coz hafiz was amazing. No doubt about it.
- alyah too.
- najwa latif was so cool & delivered her song without a hitch. Good for her :)
- less gimic, more simple performance based on vocals. Not even gaggles of dancers to fill up the stage. I so like this concept!

Overall, the lot tonite consist of a lot of self composers (aizat, yuna, najwalatiff, pistol, monoloque, ana/suhaimi/altimet) and the girls all guitar-player (yuna, najwa, ana raffali). Seems like a pretty interesting future.

But i do think its a shame that they got rid of the irama malaysia sections. Yeah, not that many listen to them, & chances to win are almost none. But should not kick them aside either. You'd lose a big chuck of local culture that way..


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Do i know what i'm doing? Hell, no! :p




- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

sigh.. #IfYouWereMine....

• December 29 =The Day of High Status

• Capricorn's born December 29 are often destined to play a leading role in the life around them.

• Capricorn's born December 29 has a low key sense of humor which is not always noticed or appreciated.

• Highly intelligent #Capricorn's born December 29 are able to work both sides of the brain well.”

So.. another year has passed. 


Apart from the new job, everything else is still pretty much the same. oh, and i may have gained a few more unwanted pounds.. sob sob.. 


Plans for the day? none so far, apart from loads of work. (god, i sound so pathetic..keke).. i do have the department lunch & secret santa gift to look forward to. Just hope that for once i get some decent presents.. i always get the worst presents ever.. sob sob.. what i wouldnt give to receive a huge bouquet of flowers, like that show on tv just now. even if it was from her brother, not her husband. A girl can only dream, cant she? sigh.. 

If u think you're not making progress, look at where u were a year ago & you'll see how far you've come! :) #TheSW

not sure what is wrong with me..

Why?

C.R.A.P.

Be realistic; always wish what is impossible. - Paulo Coelho

Apa la nak kecoh ngan benda allah v-day ni..